Emo biochemist

Gay night out

2012-02-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

Yaoi ftw

Okay, so it was not thaaat gay. No-one took their clothes off, no intense bodily collisions, no kissing, and no holding hands. Zac invited me to hang out with his friends yesterday night. I have seen his friends before at Queers on Campus events.

He picked me up at my apartment and drove to a comic book store where he scheduled to meet with his friends. We chatted a bit. I found out that he does not like alcohol. He will pick something light where the taste of alcohol is not that strong. It was a bit unexpected for me because all my engineering buddies and current labmates drink like fish. I do not like the taste of alcohol. Reminds me of the solvent I use on a daily basis in the lab. When we got to the store parking lot, Zac was a bit distracted because his friends were not there yet. He started calling and texting them. Momentarily, he put his hand on mine. Before I could register what had happened, he pulled his hand back to do whatever he was doing on his phone. Probably distracted.

At the comic book store, he went straight for the yaoi section. I did not know he was so into that stuff. His friends finally arrived and were going through the various yaoi manga books as well. I felt a bit out of place since I was never quite into comics, "North American" or manga. Zac bought a huge stack of yaoi.

The five of us eventually made it to the restaurant. Zac and I never once really did any sort of affectionate things that couples do, and I did not want him to think that I am frigid. I decided to let our legs touch underneath the table. I kind of slipped on my chair, kneed Zac, and possibly kicked a friend lol >.<. We did not have a lot of public displays of affection the entire night. I might have been too self-conscious with his friends there. Don't know why I was self-conscious, but I was. His friends were quite delightful. One in particular has more intense OCD ticks than I do. The OCD friend and I discussed our OCD symptoms, like compulsively washing hands lol. Other than that, I was relatively quite last night. I don't want Zac to think I am boring :(.

How homo is that!

After getting dinner, we all stopped at a convenience store to get pop. One friend had to pee so badly. I felt sorry for him dancing around as we walked on the sidewalk. There were some girls who smelled of pot in the convenience store. When we got out, Zac remarked that he hated the smell of pot. "He's a keeper!", I thought to myself. We then proceeded to the OCD friend's apartment to watch Harry Potter movies, Chamber of Secrets and Prisoner of Azkaban, because he had not seen them. We mocked the films throughout lol. The scene where Lupin and Sirius were hugging was called gay. A friend proposed that Lupin resigning from being a professor at Hogwarts, due to the parents' disapproval of students being taught by a werewolf, was like queer teachers being discouraged to teach by homophobic parents. Then, someone commented about the Harry Potter series that "it gets better". Zac randomly brought up Proposition 8. The things you talk about when you are with a bunch of gays! ;)

Zac finally dropped me off at my apartment. He hugged me tightly behind his car for what seemed like an entire minute. I was thinking, "um... okay, so can we let go now?" but very much enjoyed that. Never had anything like that before. I felt his thicker, fuzzier neck. I did not let the not-being-a-virgin ordeal bother me last night. Overall, I had a feeling that Zac sees me in a better light than I see myself. On Friday, he did ask me about my Facebook status and why I was crying. I told him it was nothing, maybe PMS or something. Although, I'm sure this issue will resurface again if we are to make it in the long run.

The next time I will see him is Monday at noon, on main campus. He asked me whether I will be doing anything on Tuesday. I kind of dismissed it, forgetting that it was Valentine's Day, and said that I usually have plans on Tuesdays daytime and evening. Zac did not push it, so we agreed on Monday.

Did not know I cared so much

2012-02-10T22:29:00.000-07:00

When Zac asked me out and said all those cute things about me, and I about him, I was literally shaking. I was on top of the world. I did not know I could experience something like that. I was surprised he liked me so much. I did not expect anyone to like me enough to date me. It was surreal. I have had dreams like this and would always wake up a bit sad knowing I missed out.

Twenty-four hours later, he told me that he was not a virgin. I was disappointed but managed to chat with him for five more hours. After I turned off the computer, I started crying.

Even in the lab, I kept re-playing him in my head saying "no I'm not a virgin". I started tearing up, trying not to let the labmates know. At the end of the day, Paula mentioned that I looked sad. I asked Paula, what is the average age that someone loses his/her virginity in Calgary. She was not expecting that. Paula said it was pretty common for people to have sex in high school. All the cool kids were doing it. The band geeks were not. I could not continue the conversation anymore because I was tearing up again fast. (Even as I type this blog post, I feel my eyebrows ruffle up and eyes becoming wet.) I proceeded to the computer to hide my face behind the screen. Paula inquired why this was important to me. I could not keep my voice from breaking. "Just different backgrounds," I answered. "I am so sorry, Brody," she said.

If Zac and I get to the point where we will be having sex, it will probably be awful. It will be my first time. If I cannot run biochemical assays or titrate well in my first attempts, how can I possibly do well in bed? Horrendous. Blood everywhere, not to mention mucus and things I don't really want to say. I won't know the "procedure" for having sex — any kind of sex, not even straight sex. Zac will be like, "you suck! And not in a good way! *Angry face* I have had so much better!" Comparing me to others D:

To me, the first time having sex is always special, and it will be something I will always remember. I feel like he has given a piece of him away to another boy. I could never have Zac alll to myself. Every time he touches me, I will feel like it is someone else's skin touching mine. I had the hope that my future husband and I will lose our virginity to each other. Even if the sex is awkward, it will be intrinsically valuable because it will be our first time. I keep having the image of him being drilled by some unknown dude or f*cking the crap out of him. I don't think my emphasis on being a virgin is so much from my Christian/Jewish beliefs as it is something I just treasured.

I do not know how many previous relationships Zac had, but he told me he never had anything long term. The longest might be three months. If he has been in a three-month relationship and already having sex, what does that mean? I am not sure. By the way, what about sexually transmitted diseases? If I want to wait until we are married, he could dump me or take a dump on me.

I did not know I cared so much about being a virgin and especially that I cared so much about Zac that I want him all to myself.

naturgesetz, El Genio, and Billy have given me some great insight about Zac that I overlooked in my fury over virginity. Zac might be willing to make a monogamous commitment to me in the long run. He has been honest (I think) about his romantic life to me. He was caring and sensitive enough to ask if it was okay for me to hold hands with him. I have low self-confidence. I know that is a turnoff. He told he likes the way I look and wanted to be with me even when I said that there are so many more hotter boys out there. Maybe he was being so understanding because of all the endorphins going through him in this new relationship. I think I managed to eliminate that romantic and pleasurable part of me when I got into that five or so years of depression.

I do not want to be Holier-than-Thou and drive Zac away from me, but I felt like I missed out on a big part of him before this relationship even began.

Speed dating follow-up

2012-02-09T22:47:00.001-07:00

I am surprised that Facebook saves all your messages when you chat online. Zac has been chatting online a lot with me. He usually initiates the conversation. I thought something was up because usually no-one chats online with me, and if someone does, it was very rare and urgent (like logistics about a charity event or something). I knew right away when Zac conversed with me repeatedly that something was up.

Boring, beating around the bush kind of talk was removed from the conversation below.

bK: The speed dating results are in.
ZW: lol yeah, had like two people ask me if not receiving matches yet just meant they had matched with no one good results though :)
bK: Aww, that's kind of sad :S *pat pat* lol Yeah, good results, like after a midterm, heh. Wait... are you not dating someone already?
ZW: ? Nope, I'm single got good midterm reuslts back today :) on a dif note lol
bK: Lol, did you do well on your test?
ZW: yeah, was pretty happy, itsi n my 500 lvl

bK: Wow, terrific, good job! Why do I find it extremely difficult to be convinced that you are single?! I would imaging someone like you to be taken out of the dating market a long time ago.
ZW: making me blush now :P I think you're really cute, and I've really enjoyed talking to you the last couple of days
bK: You're the only one who has ever said that to me *tears* I know you are a lovely individual, and, obviously, quite attractive. I also enjoy talking to you. It has certainly been more exciting than studying. So, when did you start feeling like you liked me?
ZW: probably back at the mixer
bK: Ah okay. Well, I kind of liked you back in September. I was kind of giddy when you friended me on Facebook lol.
ZW: If i'm honest I kinda thought you liked me before, and I did think you were cute, but we hadn't really talked very much at the time. But then at the mixer I talked with you for most of the night, and it was really cool to be able to talk about some ofhte stuff I learn from my classes

This I really liked. He said this to me when I told him I should head to bed.

It's fortunate you can't see me grinning like a moron at present. But you should probably get to sleep I'm not going to vanish over night. lol, can i ask something that might be mildly awkward? >.<
bK: Okay, yeah Might as well
ZW: if we were to spend time together, and i were to try and hold your hand, or something like that, would that be demanding? kind of on hte basis of what you mentioned about having things you needed to resolve. I just tend to be kind of physically affectionate

I've always wanted to hold hands...

bK: Although, there are so many other dudes you could ask out! I would hardly date myself .
ZW: you know, i dated all my ex's (tautology) just because you can date someone, doesn't necessarely mean it's gonna be the one. :) i think you're cute though, have you ever been kissed before?
bK: Kissed by my parents, yes. Have you done stuff other than kissing?
ZW: i think you should ask that question more specifically :P
bK: Oh, I dunno, been really close to another guy? Really, REALLY close?
ZW: lol i believe you're asking if i'm a virgin?
bK: Excuse me, that is highly inappropriate! Although, now that you mentioned it, are you?
ZW: silly boy :P no i'm not a virgin.
bK: Hehe alright.

Yeah, no, not as "alright" as it seemed... :'(

ZW: incidentally i have one of your profile pictures on my phone now

Okay, I am going to stop the interview right here. It was going really well talking to him. I was not smiling on the outside, but I was feeling such an exhilarating rush on the inside. This is completely new to me! Everything was going well until he mentioned that he was not a virgin. I don't know why that matters to me so much. Maybe it's my Jesus-radar going off or something. I am a virgin... and in so many ways. In my perfect world, I imagined both of us to be virgins :(. What audacity to download an image of me on his phone! Anywho, I know he means well, but I am less than thrilled right now. Also, he is eight months younger than me. I always thought that I would be the younger one in the relationship. I am always the youngest in my crowd of friends. He seemed like such a good fit when I first met him. He uses the word "incidentally" and signs off with a tilde "~". I do those things! I'm sorry for this tinge of sadness on what was a post on my first relationship. I will not break up with him right now, but I will definitely be on guard and try not to get overrun by my feelings.

Goodness gracious!

2012-02-08T23:20:00.002-07:00

I think Zac just asked me out! More details to follow.

Zero to fourteen in 70 minutes

2012-02-03T23:53:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I participated in my first speed dating event. In fact, it was my first dating event of any kind lol. There was about fourteen male participants and seven females. The logistics was intriguing. We were separated based on either the male rotation or the female rotation. Each date between two participants was five minutes long. We had a sheet of paper to record the name of our dates and select from the corresponding boxes "date" or "friend". Interestingly, Wikipedia credits speed dating to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo to help Jewish singles meet and marry.

Most of my dates went pretty well. I had a rather awkward one: we did not know quite what to say, and impression of him overall was... D: yeah... There were people from all sorts of backgrounds, including theatre, education, economics, tattoo aficionado, and British immigrant. Eventually, Zac and I were paired up. He is one of the co-chairs of the student group but was allowed to participate nonetheless. I don't think he will be the one to tally the votes at the end of the event. We kind of ran out of things to talk about. Most of our conversation topics were about mishaps in the lab. I checked him off as "date". I did not know what I was doing. I kind of wanted to see if he also checked "date" for me and took Billy's advice. Maybe I'm not ready to date anyone... Oh dear, I'm in a bit of a dilemma. Maybe he did not want to date me either. How the speed dating worked was that the email addresses of two participants will only be exchanged if these two participants mutually checked off "date" on the form. I would be interested in meeting some of the girls in the group though, just as friends even, but they were in their own rotation. We get to find out the results of the speed dating at a later date.

I wished the UofA's LGBTQ group would do an event like speed dating. All we have had were lecture-style meetings where there had been very little interaction amongst members.

Who names these molecules?!

2012-01-31T22:59:00.000-07:00

Wnt signalling pathway

I have studied molecular biology for just over a semester and noticed some of the really peculiar names that scientists give molecules. Cells communicate with each other using different molecules. These molecules are often called ligands. A ligand is a general term for a chemical messenger, like letter mail. In order to detect these messengers, you need a receptor. The receptor is the mailbox. Thus, when cells send and receive messages, the ligand from one cell drifts toward and binds the receptor of another cell.

One prominent class of ligands is called hedgehog. In particular, we studied sonic hedgehog (Shh) in class. Shh tells the spinal cord's cells where to go. If you don't have Shh, the spinal cord becomes really bizarre and nonfunctional. Frizzled is the receptor for Wnt (pronounced wint) and interacts with Dishevelled. Hairstyle joke? Wnt is inhibited by another ligand called Dickoff. When the teacher said Dickoff, I thought I misheard her. Either the ligand was named after someone with a quirky last name or the scientist who name it was being hilariously rude.

Illiterate

2012-01-31T22:37:00.000-07:00

People are hard to read. This may be a common problem, but Paula specifically pointed out my ineptitude today. Dr Matron emailed the lab about attending a seminar and pizza lunch this Friday. Several lab mates were talking amongst themselves saying that they have too much to do this week to attend Friday's event. Later, I asked Paula if she will be going to the seminar/lunch. She said that Dr Matron's email was meant to convey that it is required of us to attend the seminar/lunch. I totally did not read it that way; Dr Matron simply notified us of the event and said it would be great if the lab could come. Nowhere did I interpret that it was necessary for us to attend. I am not Harry Potter, y'know. I cannot read minds. I am only starting to understand the "it's not what you say but how you say it". Paula laughed it off. She said it might be because I was in engineering, and engineers have a very explicit and analytical thought process. Paula reassured me that once I get used to Dr Matron, I will pick up on her subtle hints. The reason Paula knew the seminar/lunch was required was because the professor who is hosting the seminar/lunch is a very important collaborator and source of funding for Dr Matron's lab.

The more pressing matter right now is Zac. I definitely cannot read him. I thought that me being a boy will have an advantage at understand other boys. When I don't understand girls, I have learned to accept it as something only girls understand. He randomly chatted with me on Facebook on Sunday evening for a good couple hours. I am curious to know if he likes me or not. I have perused through numerous websites and YouTube videos about how to know if a guy likes you, e.g. mirroring your actions, dilated pupils, bouts of self-grooming,... and randomly chatting you up. I have always wanted some cute guy to randomly chat me up on Facebook, and it happened two nights ago!

Aww, Dobby eyes, how can you be angry with such a creature!

He has huge, sparkly eyes that I keep staring at when we talk face-to-face. I might have accidentally blurted out, "wow, you have pretty eyes" at some point. His eyes are like those of Dobby from Harry Potter or a giant squid, really round and enormous. On Facebook, we talked about various things, such as dating, me being old, and what we found attractive in guys. Apparently, I had very specific parameters about facial features, whereas he kind of finds being overweight a turnoff. I think he might be a teetsy bit overweight himself lol. I see sort of a belly under his T-shirt. I think his nipples also show through. A bunch of people were teasing him and pinching his nipples at an event a few weeks back. Lots of chest hair though... Oh dear, I have gone quite off topic.

There is also this other guy who messages me a lot on Facebook. Just a minute ago, he invited me to go skating with a bunch of friends. He is terribly sweet. Although, I dunno, I just do not fancy him that much. I am sure that he will make a great friend.

So, when a dude likes a girl, there are all sorts of well documented signs to show it. When a dude likes another dude, do the same subtle signs appear? In a heterosexual relationship, there might still be some notion of traditional chivalry, where the man pays the bill, opens the door, pulls out the chair, &c. for the woman. However, when a man is dating a man, or woman dating a woman, you cannot both open the door or pull out the chair or else no-one will ever get in or out of a building or even sit down. Maybe this is something I have to learn, like learning how to read Dr Matron.

Close, but no cigar

2012-01-24T21:49:00.001-07:00

Last Friday, after trying to politely explain to Christian Paula that I had a mixer to go to that evening with my LGBT student group (while detailing my views about gays, trans, and queers in general), I finally arrived at the mixer — greeted by a very enthusiastic trans girl. She was the trans girl I met when I asked about Queers on Campus for the first time. The trans girl told me that there was someone in the group who liked me. I was a bit surprised, and slightly elated, but downright nervous. I had no idea who it was. I was so going to make a fool of myself. Saying stupid things, pointing out the obvious, and the like. I asked her who it was. She assured me that she would tell me when he arrived. Apparently, he was not at the mixer yet. I sort of protested to the trans girl about me going out with another boy. I am quite busy with school and everything, and I still need to figure out for myself what I want in a relationship. The trans girl was unrelenting but gentle. She suggested, "be friends first, take things slowly, let the relationship grow."

Subsequently, I chatted with a charming French Canadian lesbian, the trans girl again, and finally this one particular boy. This particular boy was Zac, one my first contacts with the student group. He is quite passive. Not terribly funny or very exciting. Although, I like him. He is very friendly, and I can talk biochemistry with him because he studies biological sciences. I think he is kind of handsome and my type. Well, not exactly my type maybe. Let's say 3.5 to 4 out of 5. I have always wanted to chat with him but never really got the chance because I was too shy.

It was nearly time to head home, and the trans girl did not explicitly mention to me who the guy was who liked me. Maybe I discouraged her or that guy?

Nevertheless, there is a boy who has been trying very hard to be friends with me at the mixer and now on Facebook. He is extremely polite, self-effacing, and sweet. Perhaps a bit too sweet. I wonder if this is the guy that the trans girl wanted me to meet. He is not exactly my type. I like him as a friend but not really a boyfriend. I would hate to disappoint this boy... He keeps sending long messages to me on Facebook. He talks about things in general, like my research, not about dating. I kind of wish Zac, or someone else I sort of fancy, will send me long messages on Facebook.

So, at the end of the night, I think I might have gotten into some sort of unspoken, tangled web of affections. I like Zac (but I might not be ready and such), Zac may like another boy (I saw him sitting on another guy's lap throughout a previous movie night), and the extremely sweet boy could like me but is not quite my type. This love triangle (can you even call it that?) could all be in my head.

Matter, energy, and time slow down below -40 °C

2012-01-17T17:32:00.000-07:00

Of all the years I have lived in Edmonton (three hours north of Calgary by car), I have never experienced weather colder than -35 °C (-31 °F). Now, the weather forecast is telling me that tonight will feel as cold as -49 °C (-56 °F)! Wouldn't it be cool (pun intended) if matter, energy, and most of all, time, slowed down when it gets that cold? Although, that will not mean that I get more hours in the day to get work done. Since time is relative, I guess I will only be moving slower than everyone else in warmer parts of the world haha.

Scotch & Soda

2012-01-16T00:23:00.000-07:00

Even at 50 % off, their pieces are very pricey but also very hot!

One of my very good friends introduced me to Scotch & Soda when I went home for the holidays. It is a new clothing store that seemed to have opened up recently in West Edmonton Mall. I love the store's design! It has a retro feel and elements of steampunk. Their clothes are very expensive though! :S

I took a bunch of pictures during the holidays, but they were not quite enough. This afternoon, I finally discovered a Scotch & Soda here in Calgary and finished noting down the things I want to put into my lookbook entry about this store.

This magnifying glass apparatus... thing... looks very steampunk.

Pretty tiles.

I have always wanted stage lights in my home.

Brody is...

2012-01-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

always going to bed very late. He must be afraid of falling asleep alone.

I continue to have debates with myself whether or not I want to be in a relationship. Furthermore, whether or not I want to be in a relationship with a guy. If I can't figure this out for myself, I can't possibly expect my parents and the rest of the family to understand this themselves. I had like 20 years to sort everything out; that is around 20 years more than my family. If I were to walk through the door one day, hand-in-hand with my boyfriend, I would imagine my parents to be absolutely appalled. The Heart and Stroke Foundation should note down "surprising people with your homosexuality" as a major cause of heart attacks and strokes.

Maybe let's discuss the issue in two parts: a) whether or not I want to be in a relationship and b) boyfriend or girlfriend. Part of the reason I want a boyfriend/girlfriend might be because everyone else appears to have one. In fact, a lot of my friends my age have married or at least been engaged. This scenario is the classic, playground peer-pressure situation — everyone is doing it, so why not me? Everyone in a relationship gets bonuses like having someone drive you to school, cook for you, and do your laundry. Although, these bonuses should not be the motivators for dating someone lol. It's nice to have someone accompany you as you go around your daily business. You can't exactly take your pet to school or to the mall. Right now, the laptop keeps me company, and that is pretty much all the human interaction I get when I am not in the lab.

Must be nice to have someone... :(

Boyfriend or girlfriend? Right off the top of my head, I think I will like to have a boyfriend. However, with further consideration, I am not so sure. A lot of my best friends are girls *cough* gay stereotype *cough*. I have thought that romantic relationships start out as casual friendships. I don't get along with other boys very well. Sometimes, girls just seem more fun and lively than boys. Nonetheless, I have never seen a girl entirely naked. From, what I saw upon accidentally stumbling upon porn sites, I can say that I am not interested. Not interested AT ALL! :O Physical attraction is important in a relationship, right? Boys can be emotionally complex creatures. I know from experience that I am very good at bottling up emotions to an explosive level. Some girls cry and bitch, and these are healthy outlets for them. Even if I do pick "boyfriend", I might have buyer's remorse.

These internal debates I have might be pointless after all. Maybe I'm destined to be alone forever. :(

What happens in Canada, stays in Canada

2012-01-13T01:06:00.000-07:00

Canadian Prime Minister, Stephen Harper

News agencies, and my Facebook pages too, have exploded into a fiery mess of a controversy involving the validity of gay marriages conducted in Canada.^1,2,3,4,5 The issue centres around the argument put forth by a federal government lawyer that all same-sex marriages involving foreigners are considered invalid if the foreigners' country of origin does not support same-sex marriage.


Popular columnist Dan Savage and his husband, Terry Miller. "I had been divorced overnight," said Savage.

Based on the lawyer's view, Dan Savage and husband Terry Miller, who wed in Vancouver, would not be considered to be married at the federal level because they live in the United States.²

The prime minister stated that he did not wish to re-open the same-sex marriage debate.⁶

A student on the Queers on Campus Facebook page posted the following:

It is uncertain whether or not this controversy will lead to the invalidation of countless marriages of foreign couples or spark further debates in other similar topics.

Long time no see, Dr Dean

2012-01-12T17:39:00.000-07:00

I received a big piece of mail from the Faculty of Engineering at the University of Alberta. I have not received any letters from the UofA for awhile now. The reason why the mail was so big was that it contained a calendar for the new year. It was a reasonably attractive calendar. Although, also in the mail was a letter from the dean asking for donations.

I know that it is standard practice for schools and organizations to ask for donations, but I was particularly annoyed that the Faculty of Engineering was asking me for donation considering my previous experiences at school. I question whether the donations actually help make the faculty better for everyone, students especially. We have new buildings and renovations underway for engineering students, thanks to companies' and individuals' generous donations; however, I don't think that these will make everything better. While I was still in engineering, my classmates and I had a share of bad professors who don't really care about their students and/or just can't teach. If you put the same awful professors in a really luxurious classroom, I will bet that the quality of teaching will still be as bad. The reason I am in Calgary is because Dr Lu has no more funding for me. I noticed that the funding that the faculty received, and the University of Alberta in general, seemed to benefit a small group of individuals, for instance, a single professor getting an enormous grant for her/his lab for studying oil sands or a building devoted to research that only a small group of privileged researchers can access, while everyone else is restricted. Year after year, tuition increases and prominent staff members of the university ask for donations. I have no idea where the money is going, and why the school fees keep increasing without end. Students are not necessarily having a better time at school.

No thanks.

Macaroni and cheese, ten years later

2012-01-08T23:47:00.000-07:00

I can't believe I'm back in Calgary for a week already. I miss home...

Things have been off on a slow start. A major accomplishment happened in the lab while I was away. My immediate supervisor managed to clone a piece of DNA into a plasmid. I have been trying the same procedure for two months already, and nothing has worked. Now, I can finally move on in the project rather than being stuck at one place.

Today, I made macaroni and cheese (from the box) for the first time ever! The last time I had macaroni and cheese was over ten years ago when my mom made it. I did not quite like it then and continues to be puzzled about it now. Why is the "cheese", that powder stuff in the packet, so yellow? It is such a brightly intense, neon orangey-yellow. I had doubts whether it was edible. When I tasted a spoonful of the fluorescent pasta once it was done cooking, I did not find the flavour really appealing. A bit artificial. Was the cheese supposed to be cheddar? It did not taste like cheddar. I kind of knew that it was cheese, but there was just something peculiar about it lol. Awkward...

Now you may cut into the bride

2012-01-03T17:31:00.000-07:00

Why would you even...?! arg!

Happy 2012!

2012-01-01T00:30:00.000-07:00

Taken at West Edmonton Mall.

All the best to you in the new year, everyone!

I'm going to bed now since 12:29 am is waaay past my (homework-free, on-vacation) bedtime haha.

Three things I dislike and like about Edmonton

2011-12-29T14:35:00.000-07:00

I have lived away from Edmonton for a good four months or so and have made some inferences about living in Calgary versus Edmonton.

THREE THINGS I DISLIKE ABOUT EDMONTON

Protect and serve — really? Nonetheless, they sure are proud.

1. Police officers are everywhere, but the city is not much safer.
People are still being murdered, and mental patients have escaped from the hospitals and died in the cold. The police officers (men and women) strut around like they are better than the law. They get to enforce and interpret the law. I thought the judicial branch interprets the law... A police officer wrongly accused my dad of drunk driving when the reality was that my dad speaks with an accent and not-so-perfect English, especially when he is nervous at being wrongly accused by the police officer. Just in the news today, a man was given a ticket by the police when he tried to cheer up the same officers with a plate of homemade cookies.¹ I honestly don't feel safe in a city where such dumb people are allowed to wield firearms. Sorry, that sounded mean, but I have had to put up with this for 10+ years now.

The mayor.

2. The mayor and his cronies.
There have been talks between the city council, the mayor especially, and the owner of the Edmonton Oilers hockey team, Daryl Katz, about building a new arena downtown. What bothers me is the lack of transparency. The mayor is always meeting with Katz behind closed doors. Under the deal, the city will have to pay $ 125 million for the arena (taxpayers' money), and Katz's company gets to "retain all arena revenues".² The mayor should be caring for the city's best interest, or at least be impartial, rather than participate in what seems like a secret deal between him and a private company.

Lois Hole, wonderful in so many ways.

I can't really think of a better leader from Edmonton than Lois Hole. She reminds me of a housewife. She would bake cookies for you and grow flowers. She did a lot of that but was also an academic, businesswoman, and the Lieutenant Governor of Alberta (represents the Queen of England). Lois is known as the Queen of Hugs because she broke protocol in hugging everyone, diplomats and politicians alike. My family met her one day at her gardening store when I was still in elementary school. We were strangers to Lois, but she was so welcoming. Together, we chatted about my science fair project at school, and she gave us a bunch of gardening books for free. Lois was someone who was real and genuine. She took her high positions to heart and cared about everyone.

3. People devoid of compassion.
Generally, people are more rude in Edmonton. In fact, I feel that 95 % of retail workers in Edmonton are rude. In Calgary, workers in retail and the service industry are more upbeat and cheerful. Even if they are faking it, at least they try to fake it rather than making your day miserable. People at the bank are impatient and don't apologize for missing an appointment (happened yesterday to me).

THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT EDMONTON
1. My family and friends.
Even if there are so many crappy things about the city (more than just the three mentioned above), I have my family and friends to make everything better.

2. Camp fYrefly.
I have posted about this summer camp and will post again here. Camp fYrefly is the only program of its kind in the country for LGBT youths. I would love to have something like this in Calgary... and even throughout Canada and the U.S.

3. Shopping is convenient (sort of).
In Calgary, I usually spend five hours to get groceries. I am only in the stores for one or two hours total. Everything is so far away from each other in Calgary, and public transit isn't that great. I don't have a car, so I need to rely on the subway and bus and not to mention walking. In Edmonton, there are patches of shopping centres everywhere. You can get food, clothes, electronics, and even pets. If I need to get something quick in Edmonton, it will take me about 50 minutes for the entire trip by public transit. However, if I want to get somewhere farther in Edmonton, rather than just around the neighbourhood, it can also take hours.

Sephora ftw

2011-12-29T13:18:00.000-07:00

I'm back in Edmonton for the holidays! I hung out with a bunch of girls from my charity group on Tuesday to go Boxing Week (like Black Friday in the U.S.) shopping at West Edmonton Mall. One girl told me about how she was getting all sorts of freebies from Sephora for her previous birthdays by signing up for the Beauty Insider program. I told her that I wanted to sign up too, and we made a trip to Sephora together. I wanted to sign up for two reasons: 1) I like freebies and 2) I am curious about the degree of prejudice in stores like Sephora when a guy walks in to buy things (I blogged something similar here).

The two girl friends and I walked up to the counter. I was getting kind of anxious lol. One of the girls did not have a Beauty Insider card, so she signed up first. It was my turn. The lady at the counter was rather civil. She did not flinch when I declared that I wanted to sign up too and was friendly towards me. Because I recently had my birthday, she offered me some freebies to choose from. I could pick some sort of aftershave gel or the vanilla birthday cake shower gel. Of course I picked the vanilla birthday cake shower gel! I have not opened the bottle, but the tester on the store shelf smelled great.

Sephora has things for guys, e.g. fragrances. However, most of its products, and advertisements too, are geared toward women. Maybe the lady at the counter was so nice to me because I had my girls to back me up, so the store clerk would not dare make a scene? Anywho, for the time being, I'm reasonably satisfied with my experience at Sephora.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T16:39:00.000-07:00

Merry Christmas, my dear readers!

What about personality?

2011-12-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

Blogger Mark asked me in a previous post, "what about personality?" I had been going nonstop about physical qualities that I totally missed out on what's on the inside. It's what's on the insides that counts, right?, or so I'm told... Anywho, the bottom parts of this post might get slightly NSFW, and I did not produce any of the photos posted here (as much as I want to... oh well, maybe one day).

Let's suppose that I am in a therapist's office, lying down on a long, leather couch. The therapist asks me, "describe to me your ideal relationship. What traits does your partner possess?" My mind goes blank. That has often happened in my counseling sessions when the psychologist made me think outside the box. Slowly, I answer, "I think I like someone who can support me when work or school gets really busy." During the starting years of my undergrad, I did not have time to do anything for myself — cooking, buying groceries, doing the laundry, general housekeeping, and pretty much everything — since engineering took up so much time. I was still living at home. If I had move out, I would have gone (more) berserk. In the future, if I get a job in academia, I will have periods of writing grant proposals and presentations and will really appreciate if someone else will be able to help me out as I kind of isolate myself in my work world. In my crazy times (i.e. panic attacks), he can calm me and make everything better. Conversely, when my boyfriend/husband is really pressed for time, I could also pitch in and reciprocate his favour to me. I like a relationship where the two of us are equals, no-one is the woman in the relationship, no dominant-submissive. No gender roles. Both of us wear the pants, so to speak, and both of us wear the skirt. If we have kids, then the kids will be a shared responsibility.


The caption from the blog read: Sorry to frighten the fuck out of my new followers. THIS^ is love. I was dying, due to pcp pneumonia and acute respiratory failure/distress. I lost over 150lbs, one of my lungs collapsed and will never re inflate, I had chest tubes, multiple IV’s, I was on a ventilator, had a tracheostomy, had to re-learn how to walk, talk, eat and breathe on my own, all over again. My husband, was there for me EVERY. FUCKING. DAY. The amazing doctors and nurses at KU Medical Center ALL commented on how amazingly dedicated my husband was. How few husbands show such tenderness and love. I would have died, had he not been there to keep me going. I have a man who wiped my ass for me because I messed myself in my hospital bed. Now, tell me that we are going to ruin the sanctity of marriage and I will bust your fucking teeth out.

Equality in the relationship is a big thing for me right now for some reason... Here is a random shopping list of things I like.
• Good with money. Does not gamble, invest large sums of money in the stock market, or spend money on useless things. I am really conservative when it comes to money. I like coupons and freebies, i.e. I am cheap. Although, I need my partner to buffer against my cheapness and spend money when I need to, for instance, buying good quality vegetables rather than things I scrounge from the garbage bin (that's an extreme example, but the concept is there).
• Clever. Makes catty, witty remarks. Makes me laugh. Really laugh and not like a sympathy laugh. Knows how to negotiate with people and manipulate the situation.
• Similar spiritual beliefs. Believes in G-d and the deity of Jesus. Kind of Messianic Jewish like me is a bonus. Does not have to always go to church or attend small groups, but does his own readings and studies about the Holy Writ. Being super, ultra, extremely religious is kind of scary to me :O.
• Similar education. I would like for him to have attended university. Having a science background would be nice.
• Steady job and decent income.
• Does not lie. Except about surprise parties and presents.
• Keeps promises.
• Likes to be clean and smelling fresh.
• Treats me like I'm special to him. Tells me and does things for me to show his love.

That point about him treating me like I'm special... I think it is neat if he's often horny and tries to seduce me. Even though I am already married to him, I still want him to make me fall for him all over again.

It will be lovely if he is a bit rough in bed. Pin me down, straddle my chest, bounce his balls on my face, and make me service his cock. Have me feel how great it is to have a mouthful of hot, slippery meat. Just while I am getting comfortable, he aggressively ravages me from behind. (But not so aggressively that tissues tear. Maybe some playful teasing and fingering is appropriate to begin with.)

No fisting! I did not quite know all the details and was a bit sorry to find out recently. I saw an anus sort of prolapsed and all misshapen. No double fisting, shoulder-deep fisting, or something involving a "dilator". When he penetrates, he has a unique rhythm like a series of short and shallow thrusts from slightly different angles followed by a long deep thrust until I can feel his engorged sack.

Surprise me with an ejaculation to my face when I'm not expecting. Then, we can politely switch roles or explore other nonpenetrative themes.

I feel a daydream bubble popping right now. First of all, I'm kind of defective down there, so I'm not sure how fun is all the sexual activity described above. Everything I said above might work in theory but not in real life. I have never dated before, so maybe there is something un-date-able about be. It can turn out that I simply cannot stand living with anyone else. I dunno... Just sharing my thoughts with you, dear readers.

Gift for Dr Matron

2011-12-22T20:32:00.001-07:00

I don't have wrapping paper at home and am kind of too poor to buy wrapping paper that I will most likely only use once a year during Christmas. Instead, I enclosed each present in a paper snowflake "cage". The presents are simple boxes of holiday chocolates for the permanent members of the lab.

You can just barely peek at the box of candy inside a snowflake.

I also designed and printed cards for the lab members, but for Dr Matron, I made a special handcrafted piece for her. The card features an amaryllis flower crafted from aluminium foil.

Brownies

2011-12-21T18:09:00.001-07:00

"Are these special brownies?" inquired Brian.

"Yes, they are very special indeed!" I replied.

Actually, there is no pot in these brownies, but I made them extra fancy (with nuts, cherries, and drizzles of chocolate!) since they are my Christmas treats to the three students and one post-doc in the lab. I tried to make the brownies marbled, wisps of white and dark chocolate intertwined throughout. The marbled effect did not really take :S, just looks more like two layers with the white chocolate layer on top and dark on the bottom.

Paula was thrilled. She hugged me. I hope she did not take my gesture the wrong way... like something a boyfriend does for his girlfriend. I'll hate to tell her one day, "honey, I like guys D:". *Snaps fingers three times in a "Z" shape*

I only gave the brownies to Brian and Paula. I will still need to meet up with the undergrad student and post-doc. I wanted to give them these discreetly, or else people in the lab might think I'm sweet but also maybe a suck up who makes other workers look bad (I learned about this in my sociology course heh :S). I was trying to be discreet when I took out the brownie from its hiding place in the drawer to give to Paula, but as soon as I opened the drawer, a burst of chocolate scent erupted in the lab. People nearby were asking why it suddenly smelled so good lol. So much for being discreet.

aNoteToMyKid.com

2011-12-20T20:11:00.004-07:00

Many LGBT individuals have spoken up in the It Gets Better Project. Now, it is the parents, family, and friends' turn to express their enduring support for us.

You can hear more about aNoteToMyKid.com from Kathy's point of view. (Kathy's so awesome! Love you, Kathy, and G-d bless!)

Where to plan your next vacation

2011-12-20T19:59:00.000-07:00

Measurements are in centimetres, please.

Could you imagine if these measurements were in inches? Consider the 16.51" Hungarian wiener schnitzel or the 16.01" French saucisson, vive la France indeed! I found this chart circulating around a number of blogs. I am interested to find out the statistics for North America. If most men in the US and Canada are of British descent, then I hypothesize that the average for US and Canada will be comparable to that of Britain in the map above.

How accurate is the chart? Lol, maybe I should not have tagged this post as "human physiology".

M(ichael)K(ors) Pareve

2011-12-20T19:44:00.000-07:00

Find at least one similarity between these two pictures.

I lol'ed when I realized that the logo for Michael Kors was pretty much the same as the kosher food designation. The font might be slightly different, but the "M" and "K" sharing the same stem as well as the circle around the "MK" are quite obvious. So, does this mean that I can eat the bag?

First candle tonight

2011-12-20T18:33:00.000-07:00

Happy Hanukkah! First candle tonight!

Brody is...

2011-12-19T16:47:00.000-07:00

unsure whether he is thrilled that G-d has placed the ultimate, potential Christian girlfriend in his life. She works hard at school, loves G-d, regularly attends church activities, has similar conservative views about premarital sex as Brody, and is homophobic.

She is Paula. I mentioned her in my first blog post about the lab I'm working in right now.

A few weeks ago, I was fretting over not being in a relationship, ever!, whereas the friends who are my age are already getting married. One of which was getting engaged to his boyfriend. I told my concerns to one of the lab technicians, and she was all like, "you're still young. There are lots of eligible people of either persuasion." Later, I mentioned my same concerns to Paula, and she sort of gave her views about dating and marriage from the perspective of her church. When I said that a gay couple I know got engaged that very day and alluded to lesbians, she totally got all uncomfortable, "could we not talk about this? This is making me uncomfortable."

Paula was not always a Christian. After a life-changing car accident a few years ago, she started going to church. What really bothered me was the question of whether Paula had always been somewhat homophobic or was it something the church taught her. I believe that being gay, trans, or whatever, is determined before birth and is not taught. However, homophobia, like racism and discrimination, can be taught. I am worried that people who go to church are blindly following what the preacher is saying and not doing their own research about important matters like homophobia and discrimination. If I were straight, I would have very little reason to question homophobia because gay issues do not affect me. This could be the mechanism why prejudice can perpetuate in the church since there is not always the need to question things that the preacher says, whether the preacher's teachings are right or wrong.

NSFW! Jiz - A Very Special Drug Episode

2011-12-18T18:02:00.001-07:00

Not safe for work!!!

Brody wants to be gorgeous too

2011-12-18T17:48:00.000-07:00

I got this card in the mail. It was for a former tenant of the apartment, a girl. I was wondering if a boy like me were to shop at Murale, Sephora, or other "girly" stores, would the store clerks continue to treat me poorly? I have had not so great experiences when I walked into Bath and Body Works. The workers just ignored me, whereas all the female customers were pulled in to receive free samples and learn about special discounts. Even when I approached a worker at the skin care counter at The Bay, she was altogether very cold with me. Quite honestly, I value pretty-smelling lotions and perfect skin, and I feel discriminated that just because I'm not a girl, I deserve to be snubbed by these companies.

I'll need to think of a witty comeback the next time the store clerks are being jerks.

Homemade holiday cards

2011-12-18T17:28:00.000-07:00

I made a bunch of holiday greeting cards for the lab that I will be giving out this week.

This one above was my first take at making collages. Collages seem to be really popular right now, in people's blogs and advertising.

I made the envelopes too because I am too poor to buy envelopes lol.

I like how Santa Claus's hands stick out of the envelope, along with some polar bear heads haha.

Cupcakes for me

2011-12-18T17:16:00.000-07:00

Every time someone has a birthday in Dr Matron's lab, we have cake. One of the lab technicians brought a plate of cupcakes the previous week for my birthday. How lovely!

Some people did not like mint, so that particular cupcake was without candy cane bits.

Why I believe

2011-12-18T00:16:00.000-07:00

As you watch this video, try to set aside some of the common stereotypes about Jews, e.g. greedy with money, corrupt, physical appearance, &c. While these stereotypes might be true for some people, what really grabs my attention is the progression of the entire Jewish world as a whole. The Jews moved out of Egypt, settled in the Promised Land (Israel), got expelled out of Israel into the Diaspora because G-d was angry with them, and have re-settled and are flourishing (despite terrorist tensions) in their homeland just like the Bible predicted.

I am a Doubting Thomas. Dr Lu's fifth grade daughter called me Thomas for some reason instead of my real name. Maybe it was a coincidence or maybe... I have browsed through a number of religions and have trouble believing in their stories. The stories all appear like fairytale. In fact, I never believed in Santa Claus as a child because I needed proof. Seeing is believing sort of thing. I guess this is why I am in science. I need to have experimental data to validate things. I think it is great that G-d exists and came to Earth to die for everyone's sins, but I am very much a Doubting Thomas. I cannot see G-d, not before the Rapture anyways. The existence of the Jewish people is sort of a visual proof for me that G-d exists and the Bible is real. If G-d expelled the Jews out of Israel, allowed them to be subjected to all sorts of discrimination, and then collected them back into their Promised Land with a preserved spiritual belief and even the Hebrew language, maybe all the stories about Jesus and future prophecies are true too.

Well, duh!

2011-12-17T23:32:00.000-07:00

I found this article today (published yesterday) on BBC News. Visits to the health clinic dropped by 13 % after the legalization of same-sex marriage in U.S. states. The article suggests that the legalization of same-sex marriage led to a decrease in stress in gay men, which then reduced problems with blood pressure and depression. I thought the findings and speculations were a bit of a no-brainer. If people can't be married with whomever they love, they will obviously feel emotional stress and pain, and stress is known to manifest itself as physical problems like heart disease, ulcers, and weakened immuned systems. But, I am glad that there is some sort of concrete evidence that allowing people to be with whom they love, regardless of gender, is a healthful thing.

Baby what? Human baby?

2011-12-17T23:05:00.000-07:00

Saw this delightful engrish at the supermarket today. I cannot really read Chinese, so I had to take the English translation.

Crayon peanut butter

2011-12-17T23:02:00.000-07:00

I do not claim to be an expert in design; nonetheless, I have an issue with this peanut butter jar label. A blue crayon and drawings of dinosaurs are not very convincing to me to buy this particular brand of peanut butter. I shudder at the thought of having bits of wax crayon in the peanut butter I'm eating. Blue is not a very appetizing colour either because it is a cool colour. Warmer colours, closer to red on the colour wheel, are more suitable for food — assuming that the food is to be eaten while it is hot. Usually, brands and logos for food companies go for yellow and red, like McDonald's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, and Pizza Hut. I would imagine that the label on this peanut butter jar is more for children who enjoy peanut butter sandwiches. (Personally, I was never really into dinosaurs as a child.) Crayons and dinosars are fun, hence the peanut butter must be fun to eat.

Brody is...

2011-12-13T13:31:00.002-07:00

disappointed that he was unable to participate in this year's Western Canada Fashion Week.

During the summer, I signed up to volunteer at the Western Canada Fashion Week in Edmonton, but I am kind of in Calgary now... I still get emails from the group though lol.

Let's celebrate cut little boys!

2011-12-12T22:11:00.001-07:00

Found this on Cake Wrecks!

Just for the record, I am kind of against circumcision for any gender. Please do not circumcise your child if such an operation is not necessary.

Epigenetic control of "gay genes"?

2011-12-12T20:31:00.002-07:00

What Wikipedia says about epigenetics... I think the poster can be explained more simply.

I had my one and only final exam this semester. The exam was about developmental biology in the nervous system. One of the topics I found most exciting was epigenetics. Epigenetics is about regulating gene expression by other means other than changing the DNA sequence. For instance, if poor Thomas has a bunch of cancer-causing genes, epigenetics may help to keep those genes in check from doing all sorts of bad things. (You can add methyl groups to cytosine bases or to the histone proteins that DNA wrap around.) So, Thomas does not get cancer. Even though Thomas still has cancer-causing genes, the genes are prevented from making trouble for him. Another example of epigenetics is in parental imprinting. You get one set of genes from your father and another set from your mother, but you do not express both your mom and your dad's traits simultaneously.

I saw an article posted on the Queers on Campus Facebook page about a family with twin boys, one of the boys feels that she is born in into the wrong body. The twins have identical DNA, but maybe there can be epigenetic changes to the DNA that influence sexual orientation or gender identity when the children are still in the womb. This hypothesis can lead to the question of the existence of the proverbial gay gene. I'm just guessing here, but I think sexual orientation is more complicated than being limited to a single gene or set of genes; however, pretty much everything in biology I studied about has some type of genetic component. Epigenetics might explain why two boys, born in the same womb with the same DNA, can have different sexual orientation and gender identity. Even though both babies have the same DNA, not all of the genes are expressed equally.

Brody is...

2011-12-05T16:30:00.000-07:00

a bit surprised that homosexuality comes up so often in his research ethics training from the Government of Canada.

Cocoa in your pie

2011-12-04T02:09:00.001-07:00

I have not been posting a lot of recipes, so here is another one for you to try! I invented this pie kind of on the spot. You can read the story behind it here. Ah well, here goes.

5 cloves garlic, chopped finely
2 onions, cut into bite-sized pieces (I used yellow onions about the size of a fist)
1 cup mushrooms, cut into bite-sized pieces (I used brown mushrooms)
green onions, chopped finely

1 tsp dried basil
2 tsp dried oregano
1 tbsp cocoa powder
salt/pepper to taste
1 egg
pie shell

To make the pie filling, start by caramelizing the garlic and onions in a frying pan, then toss in mushrooms. Add in basil, oregano, cocoa, and salt/pepper. You might need to add some water so that the bottom of the pan does not burn. Do not add too much water. If you have too much liquid, let the pie filling cook until the water is reduced. I like to have enough moisture such that there is a bit of juice but is overall quite dry.

Wait for the filling to cool, then mix an egg into the pie filling.

Transfer the filling into a pie shell and bake at 350 F until the filling holds together on its own, about 30 minutes.

Dr Matron's holiday party

2011-12-04T01:51:00.001-07:00

I assure you that this is banana bread.

I have been majorly cooking for the past few days to prepare enough food for Dr Matron's holiday party. There were around 40 people at the party. About 10 people were from the lab, and these people brought their family along.

It was a potluck event, but I thought I myself should make at least a decent amount of food.

I do not have a car to go grocery shopping, and it is a hassle to get around town, so I had to make everything from scratch, like the spanakopita phyllo and pasta for the cannelloni.

This aptly named pie below was made at 1am. I was sooo tired and sooo hungry when the pie was done baking. The whole apartment smelled awesome. It has mushrooms, onions, and yes, cocoa! The pie was savoury and did not taste like chocolate at all. In fact, there was not really any one particular flavor that was prominent. Everything just melded together.

putting it altogether...

That time of the semester

2011-11-29T23:58:00.000-07:00

It has been like, what, a week since I blogged? I have all sorts of things due now. Just today, I handed in a report on how a protein called GDE2 cues Olig2⁺ progenitor cells to differentiate into motor neurons. In the lab, I'm trying to get one piece of DNA into another piece of DNA (molecular cloning), and it is not really working. (Oh, G-d, please let it work so I can move onto other steps!!) Art project due on December 15, but I might need to hand it in earlier if I can't submit the huge file by email. Final exam December 9. I will be cooking for the lab Christmas party potluck this weekend — 40 people attending :O. The list goes on.

One of the highlights of the past week was getting a stupid turkey float on a cellphone game. I don't know why, but I just find the game so addicting! The game is a simulation game like Sim City, except the city is an island. I like simulation and thinking games better than action because of my slow reflexes.

The even more exciting thing was a "Tea Workshop" I attended. It was not quite about tea, but tea was involved. The Tea Workshop was an information session about trans individuals. I am still having some difficulty with trans etiquette, difference between sex and gender, &c. Y'know that girl I met when I signed up for the LGBTQ group at school? It turned out that she is still transitioning from male to female. I cannot really imagine what it is like to feel that you are born into the wrong sex. It must be so awful, and from their testimonies, it is awful. I do not feel that I really fit into either gender, but it's not like I have a pressing need to change sex. I'm just quickly skimming over what was discussed. The workshop was really intense. There was a female-to-male (FTM) and a male-to-female (MTF) presenting their transition experience. The tens of thousands of dollars spent on surgery, not to mention the pain and complications, was incredible. Going to the washroom is annoying because if you are FTM, you will start to use the male washroom, and how will you pee standing up? There are devices to help you pee standing up, but what if the men beside you judge you because they have no idea what that device is? You have to change your sex on official documents. Apparently, a nurse freaked out when she found out that her patient was trans. The things they go through is crazy. However, most, if not all, of the time, transgendered people feel much better after they transition. Those people who regret transitioning was not because they wanted to get their previous sex back but rather the people around them are prejudiced and casting all sorts of discrimination. One important point I got from the presentations was that there needs to be more education about trans people. Being trans-identified is more than a hobby in cross-dressing. I believe it is a medical condition. It is not a contagious condition or does it have the power to erode societal values, as some conservatives may think. It is a medical condition that has to be addressed for the wellbeing of the trans-identified individuals.

Brian bento

2011-11-24T15:39:00.000-07:00

One of my lab mates, Brian, took me and another classmate to go grocery shopping. I do not have a car, and public transportation is so inconvenient when you are carrying heavy bags, so I really appreciate Brian driving me. The other classmate gave him $ 20 for gas money. I asked Brian how much I should give him, and he said I did not have to pay him back for that trip. The $ 20 was already plenty. I decided to make him a boxed lunch, like a bento. I constructed the boxes out of cardboard, with proper measurements and everything!, and covered them with foil. The boxes stack nicely on top of one another. The fruit and rice cakes are at the bottom and main course things at the top so that the heat from the cooked food does not heat up the fruit or rice cakes.

Brody is...

2011-11-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

really liking the latkes. The savoury potato and onion pancakes go well with a generous sprinkle of cinnamon sugar.

The previous time I had latkes was in grade three. That was more than ten years ago. The teacher made latkes with us in class. She was Chinese, not Jewish or anything... not that I know of lol.

I made these to take to the lab tomorrow. I did not really follow any recipe for making these potato pancakes. So, here is what I did.

Latkes
1 potato, the size of a fist
1 onion, the size of a fist
1 egg
1 sprig of green onion
1 tsp ground cinnamon
dash of pepper
dash of salt

Cinnamon sugar
1 tsp ground cinnamon
3 tsp brown sugar
3 tsp white sugar
3 tsp powdered sugar

Grate potatoes, and finely chop the onion and green onion. Mix all the ingredients for the latkes together. Form patties with the mixture, about half-inch thick, and fry until golden brown on one side, flip the latkes, and continue to fry until golden brown on the other side. I fried my latkes in very little oil, just enough to cover the bottom of the pan.

To prepare the cinnamon sugar, combine the cinnamon with the brown, white, and powdered sugars. Sprinkle generously on the fried latkes.

Depending on how wide you make the latkes, you might need to scale up the ingredients.

Lube in the mail

2011-11-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

I got samples of personal lubricant in the mail! Kind of reminded me of my post about the sex toy party I attended, especially about silicone lube.

Mmm, kiwi strawberry! Does not that make you moist in the mouth... and other places too?

When I read the ingredients list, I found methylparaben. Parabens are a class of chemicals that have a bit of controversy around them, including possible endocrine disruptor. I wonder if the lube is kosher.

I don't think I will be using these samples. I just feel a bit weirded out about using samples in the mail. I am afraid that it might be somehow contaminated with something. I might give the lube to one of my lab mates and see if he is willing to use them :P.

Make up your mind

2011-11-19T23:07:00.000-07:00

There are some really pretty girls in my class. I think I kind of get flustered around them. Maybe a crush? One girl is a classmates and another is the teaching assistant. They are both around my age, I think. I panicked a bit when I had these thoughts about how attractive they were. The moment that I considered eating a vadge or even just looking at boobs, I was happily repulsed (no offence, girls). Nope, I guess I'm still not straight or bi!

Anyone else also experienced these strange crushes?

Lady Derp Derp

2011-11-17T19:28:00.000-07:00

Waiter, there is a glans in my rice!

2011-11-15T15:44:00.007-07:00

I found an odd-looking meatball in my food when I went out for dinner on Saturday. Sorry, the picture quality is kind of crappy. The restaurant was dimly lit.

Upon closer inspection...

The meatball appeared like a glans (NSFW!). There was a nice corona glandis (also NSFW) on the meatball too. I should have said to the server, "waiter, there is a glans in my rice... Bring me another one!" lol. I bit into the glans. Thick, white juice exploded from the lesion where I bit off!

Just kidding :P! There was no juice in the meatball lol. It was pretty much as exciting as biting into a hotdog.

Mmph

2011-11-14T19:43:00.001-07:00

I took this picture while I was on the coach bus from Calgary.

I went back to Edmonton over the Remembrance Day (Veterans' Day) long weekend. As was the case last time, I miss being with my family and friends. The air in my room is fresher. The bathroom feels cleaner. Right now in Calgary, I'm sleeping on the floor and hoping that the carpet is not sprouting too much mold since the toilet imploded.

To be honest, I do not really like Edmonton. People are rude there, and that is only one of the many things that annoy me about the city. Although, having my family and friends there makes everything more bearable.

Were the world mine, indeed

2011-11-09T20:55:00.000-07:00

{Possible spoiler alert!}

Magical realism. I learned this term in grade twelve English class. It means incorporating magical, mythical elements into a story as if these elements were real. Tonight, I watched Were the World Mine in a kind of an impromptu movie night with Queers on Campus. I won't spoil the plot for you ;). I think the movie is quite good. The film is kind of artsy, with a gay twist. I enjoy the magical realism aspect. That is what makes this movie artsy, imaginative, and different from the other gay-themed movies I have seen.

I wish I could turn straighties gay, especially those homophobic ones, even for just a day. They have no idea what sexual minorities go through. It's already hard enough for some of us to find a gay boyfriend without having people cast judgement on who we are.

Calculate the mass flow rate of the toilet water

2011-11-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

Do you see the basilisk in the reflection on the water?

I wanted to blog more last week, but I had my neuroscience midterm on Tuesday. Also, the toilet kind of exploded Tuesday night. At least the midterm was over by then, and I did not have to study while the apartment flooded.

I was in the living room minding my own business when all of a sudden, I heard water flowing. The sound of the flowing water was as if it was coming from my suite and not an echo from another suite. Funny, I had not turned on the water. I tarried a bit on the laptop and finally decided to have a look. Water was jetting out of the toilet! The floor was flooding quickly. I thought about calculating the mass flow rate of the water that was coming out and hoped somehow magically, that was going to solve the problem. The amount of water coming out was like one of those industrial-sized experiments I did in engineering. Here's a video of the water coming out. Sorry the video is sideways, I don't know how to fix it >.< .

I called up the managers. When the managers came, I saw them poking around the toilet and noticed a huge crack in the water tank. At least it was not poo water. I have no idea how the water tank could fracture by itself.

Anywho, my apartment is now drier, but I think the carpet will start to mold soon.

Let loose

2011-11-06T21:41:00.002-07:00

This sort of kills the mood eww lol.

Ever since I have been on antidepressants, I felt that I am able to be more calm and less likely to spaz, but I think the drugs also held back my creativity. For instance, I had a bit of a struggle when I took the art class this summer; the teacher remarked that I really needed to let loose. The pieces I have done were missing some freedom and flair. My work appeared rather rigid and too restrained. It seemed that the medication restrained my depressive thoughts going through my head but also hindered my imagination at the same time.

I recently discovered the world of animated gifs on tumblr. I knew they were there all along, but this time, I actually took the time to relax and let the moving pictures speak to me themselves rather than me trying to do whatever I was doing that was not working. This might have been what the shrink was telling me about "being in the moment" in order to get myself to calm down when I'm having a panic attack. I dunno. I can't really explain why I find the gifs so amusing. There is something quirky and hypnotic about video clips on endless loops.

So, here are some of the gifs that sort of spoke to me. I just realized that all of them describes some type of boy-on-boy action, except for the very first one (weird), which I did not intend. Well, I suppose they can be a consolation prize for you for reading about the Sturm und Drang in my head lol.

Maybe I can be one of those two nerdy boys some day... *wistfully trails off*

He looks really hot. I kind of want to have his babies. I think he's so my type, shoulder up at least. Nicely chiseled square jaw and nose. Kind of sarcastic, playful nature. Beautiful eyes... *sigh*

That's so not going to happen for me.

This is sound advice. Although, I'm not in the mood for "butthole" right now.

If any of these appealed to you, you can get more from these two links below (NSFW!). They gave me a good dose of randomness that I so sorely needed.
gaygifts.tumblr.com
joshinwonderland.tumblr.com

Spinach feta bread

2011-11-01T21:08:00.000-06:00

I made some pizzas for myself and the lab last week. The toppings included pan-fried mushrooms with cocoa, sweet peppers, and, in particular, spinach and feta. I accidentally prepared too much of the spinach and feta mixture. I left it in the the fridge for a couple of days and kind of just forgot about it. When I finally remembered, I discovered that it was still relatively fresh. I would have been so disappointed if it went bad. I could have frozen the spinach and feta mixture, but I dunno... thawing it out would be annoying.

Since I was a bit low on food, I decided to bake a bread and use the mixture as some sort of filling. I had my neuroscience midterm today and did not have a chance all weekend to get groceries because I was studying. So, this will probably be what I will have for lunch for the rest of this week lol.

Friday's flick

2011-10-29T20:14:00.000-06:00

There were around 12 people at the Queers on Campus event last night. We were going to watch the movie You Should Meet My Son! at 5pm, but the projector/laptop had technical difficulties. It was until after 6pm that things got going. During the down time, I chatted with a purple-haired graduate student studying ancient Greece, a French Albertan in communications studies, and a guy who has a habit of saying Yiddish words (and apparently a lot of people thinks he is Jewish, but he is actually not) taking business. I felt really old being a graduate student, while everyone else was fresh out of high school or at least undergraduate. The purple-haired guy was rather relieved that I am a graduate student because then he would not feel so old lol. I was kind of glad that the movie was delayed because I could sort of interact with other people and also, I saw the movie already last week. I was still really shy and quiet for most of the conversations, just innocently nibbling on a cookie. There was not that much I could talk about because I am in such a different world — grad student, neuroscience, engineering.

Oddly enough, a few people mistakenly walked into the room, looking for another student group. They probably did not see the huge, conspicuous rainbow flag taped up at the door or did not know what the rainbow flag symbolized.

The movie was nice. For reason, I got a bit antsy and became really conscious of my breathing, which was annoying and made me even more anxious. When the movie ended, everyone helped clean up, and I mumbled an awkward "okay, well, see you later" before leaving the group to go home.

I think it's weird and ridiculous how hard I have to work to hang out with gay people. I've seen YouTube videos by vloggers who strongly oppose homosexuality, yet they still have gay friends. I talk with my guy classmates about who's the prettiest girl in class and ex-girlfriends, and I sort of just play along. I am surrounded by straighties all the time!

And Brody makes 69

2011-10-26T21:52:00.000-06:00

I'm pleasantly surprised that this school has a small office space dedicated to sexual and gender diversity, called the Q Centre. The Q Centre only started last year. I finally summoned up the courage to walk into the Q Centre and ask to get a membership with the group Queers on Campus. I had my own doubts and insecurities about walking into the Q Centre and someone sees me or the people in the group might be cold toward strangers, or whatever. Sort of unreasonable fears? I dunno, I'm just naturally anxious.

I approached the door. The door was kind of closed. I thought, "arg, I got all worked up and walked all this way for nothing!" I was walking from the hospital, where I work, which was about 20 minutes away. There were people inside the room talking, so I opened the door and asked if I could get a membership. To my relief, the people in the Q Centre were quite nice and welcoming. They were telling me about the various events they will be having, including a showing of the movie You Should Meet My Son! this Friday. Haha, what a coincidence; I just blogged about that.

Incidentally, those people at the Q Centre were all really tall. I'm kind of short to begin with, and I had to walk around with a massive Asian girl, about 6' 5" or so?, through the food court to the lockers to get my membership card. We chatted along the way, and my head was turned pretty much vertically upward to see her.

When I arrived back at the office, anxiously fluttering the membership card in my hands, a dude named Zac (see the Facebook screenshot above) told me about the Facebook group and got up to show me where the venue for Friday's movie was because I don't really ever go to main campus. Zac had blue hair and was quite tall, of course lol. Everyone there seemed relatively friendly.

Gay Man Advantages

2011-10-24T20:24:00.000-06:00

I downloaded this app not knowing quite what to expect. I had some ideas though. It turned out that the app presented you with 100 bonuses of being gay and male. It took about five minutes for me to flip through them all. I am going to delete this app but not before I share with you some of the ones I thought were kind of clever.

4.) You know someone who definitely was in the emergency room with Richard Gere and the gerbil.
The first time I heard about Richard Gere and his gerbil was from my grade twelve social studies teacher. The whole class was confused about what she was saying. I had to Google it.

27.) You're the only one at your high school reunion who looks a lot better than you did in high school.
True.

38.) You never hold a grudge for longer than a decade or two.

42.) You choose the most fabulous greeting card.

43.) You know how to program your VCR.
Actually, I am so technologically inept. Who uses a VCR anymore?

44.) You've got sunscreen at every conceivable SPF level.
The sunscreen I use has a crazy SPF, like 75 or something.

45.) You have a cologne display worthy of Bloomingdales.
I want that.

62.) You know that pigs and bears are not necessarily rural wildlife.

65.) Your favourite dinner accessory may also be your dinner companion.
I am tempted by that. Maybe one day.

70.) You'll never have to hear your mother complain about your wife.

97.) Your have a carefully selected Yiddish vocabulary.
Oy, just because I'm trying to learn Hebrew does not mean I'm fluent in Yiddish.

You Should Meet My Son!

2011-10-23T16:42:00.000-06:00

I really want to watch this but also really have to study for my neuroscience midterm...

Pictures of my new school

2011-10-19T20:32:00.000-06:00

This huge, shiny, glassy library will have its grand opening tomorrow. It was open for business by August.

Hotel Alma, the hotel of the university. I was quite impressed that the UofC has a hotel. How come the University of Alberta does not have its own hotel?

I found this room on the second floor of Hotel Alma. Looks like a kitchen of some sort. Are those refrigerators in the back? They are so huge. Image what sort of parties take place here!

Outside the hotel, there is a small alley that I thought looked really neat. The brick wall with its unique texture has a bit of a nostalgic feel.

This picture was not taken on campus haha. I was at a subway station in downtown. I happened to look up and saw a bunch of red balloons drifting in the sky (click on the picture to make it bigger). The balloons appeared as tiny red specks. I hope some sea turtle does not accidentally eat a balloon.

New school, new gays

2011-10-19T19:59:00.000-06:00

I found out about the LGBT student group at my new school. They meet every Tuesday at 7pm in a coffee shop far from where I live :(. Not only is it a fair distance away, 7pm is kind of too late for me. I will be walking around in an unknown neighbourhood after dark. Arg, why can't they meet at school like OUTreach D:?

I emailed Queers on Campus about being on the mailing list and wanting to be a member. It was a bit awkward emailing them, sort of like making cold contacts with various businesses. Things going through my mind when I was writing the email were, "hi, I'm a new student. I'm not really straight, and everyone probably assumes I'm straight, but I'm not. I don't have a lot of friends. In fact, no-one I interact with are gay (or just not openly). Um... can I hang out with you guys? Do you even check your email? :S" Surprisingly, I received a reply a few hours later. They simply told me about their Tuesday meetings, which I cannot really attend, and that I'm on the mailing list. I suppose I will have to wait until something interesting comes up.

Kathy from Canyonwalker Connections

2011-10-13T22:42:00.000-06:00

Kathy is amazing. She is Christian, straight, and has straight children, but Kathy has done her share of research in finding out what the Bible really says about lesbians and gays. In the video, she talks about her previous prejudices about LGBT people and her dramatic transformation to where she is now. Kathy is so passionate in her work in supporting the LGBT community. By the way, her passion reminds me of Margaret Cho but with less swearing and Asian jokes.

I find it interesting that she shares similar views as me when interpreting the Bible about homosexuality. People have quoted scripture saying that gays are like liars, thieves, and drunkards and will not inherit the Kingdom of G-d. Then, the ex-gay movement steps in and tries to cure homosexuality. Similar to Kathy, I examined the real life actions of LGBT people as well as their experiences in ex-gay therapy. The "empirical" evidence cannot be more different than existing prejudices. Gays don't necessarily behave like liars, thieves, or drunkards or anyone else in the list who will not inherit the Kingdom of G-d. We can cooperate in peaceful, regular daily activies like straighties. Also, the sermon about loving the person but hating the sin, i.e. sin meaning homosexuality, is dangerous. Trying to convert people to being straight is even more outrageous. These messages cause intense pain and self-hatred. I would expect that when people received insight and healing from G-d, they feel a abundance of peace and satisfaction. However, this is not the case in real life when you preach against homosexuality. Clearly, something is amiss.
.

Brody is...

2011-10-12T22:19:00.000-06:00

Adapted from Wikipedia

is curious how imams, rabbis, and pastors feel about Klinefelter's and the notion that gender identity originates in the brain.

I have been on the Rapture bandwagon for the past several months and visiting people's vlogs/blogs and forums. What really irks me is when someone brings up the growing support for homosexuality and gay marriage as a "sign of the times" that the world situation is becoming increasingly sinful and Jesus will return soon. Some vloggers are comparing the tolerance of homosexuality as we know today to practices during the time of Noah and Sodom/Gomorrah. Apparently, the Great Flood and fire from the sky wiped out all the ancient gays. I believe that gay people were not the main reason, if at all, why these calamities occurred. Although, this discussion is enough for a separate post altogether.

Things like Leviticus 18:22 pop up, "[d]o not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable." Strangely, the pastors and Christians quoting this passage seem to have nothing against the other prohibitions in Leviticus, like wearing clothing of mixed fibres, eating pork, &c. By the way, what is a man or a woman? Before the invention of microscopes or real anatomy and physiology, I suspect that people just went by superficial phenotypes to determine male or female. It was quite obvious back then that penis and vagina equal man and woman, respectively. Of course, usually, one's sex is as easily determined as casually looking at him/her. Now, scientists are discovering that the brain is important, if not more important than reproductive organs, in determining gender and sexual orientation.¹ People with gender identity disorder clearly feel that their physical bodies contradict with their own perceived gender.² Then, there are those with Klinefelter's, having two X and one Y chromosome, whose sex does not really follow up on the scheme XX for female or XY for male. Intersex people with ambiguous genitals further add to the list of reasons why the distinction between male and female is not as clear as just looking at someone.

I wonder what happens if I had ambiguous sex organs and chose to be a girl because I like guys. Maybe the Church will accept me more that way than if I had chosen to be a guy just for spite lol. My question remains for the religious leaders who feel that determining one's sex is so obvious and that queer relationships are so obviously wrong.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-12T09:04:00.000-06:00

Homesick

2011-10-11T21:03:00.000-06:00

I went home during Thanksgiving weekend (Columbus Day for the American readership). It felt so surreal being in the house again and seeing the vegetable and flower beds in the backyard. I was in my bed with a heavy but soft blanket, a chest in front of the bed that houses the lookbooks, and a stash of art supplies in the closet to my right. Y'know how I sometimes mention putting things into my lookbook? I have a shelf full of pretty books, posters, catalogs, and magazines which which I consult when doing something creative.

The stash of art supplies has neat things like gold paint and sets of pricey paintbrushes and (toxic) acrylic paint that I had to buy for art/design classes. Paper cement is awesome by the way. You can manipulate that stuff so easily without mess.

Sugar spiral cake

2011-10-05T07:09:00.000-06:00

I was cooking sugar to make poured fondant. The syrup was boiling slowly, so I went on YouTube. After some time, I thought to myself, "oh crap, I'm cooking sugar!" When I arrived at the stove, the syrup had already begun to caramelize. A little golden colour is okay, right? I immediately poured the syrup onto the glass cutting board to cool down. Strangely, the syrup formed exceedingly long strands when I tried to scoop it out of the pot with a spoon. The strands cooled and became brittle like glass. I remembered one technique from TV where this pro made a spiral out of sugar. I tried to do the sugar spiral several times a few years ago but gave up because the syrup kept sticking to the rolling pin. "What the heck, I already messed up this batch of poured fondant, let's try to see if I can get a sugar spiral this time." I looped a stream of syrup around the rolling pin, over and over. The sugar hardened quite fast. I managed to form some sort of a spiral! Well, at least a set of golden rings. The rest of the syrup on the cutting board was becoming too viscous to pour, so I started pulling fragments of syrup with my bare hands. As I pulled the syrup became like plastic. It was a very surreal experience. I could wind the syrup into abstract shapes. My favourite sugar shard was one that has a relatively broad, transparent bottom that tapered into a large spike at the top, like a frozen flame.

I still need more work on the poured fondant. The icing should look white, shiny, and smooth. Not lumpy like what I have. I hope I will be able to make sugar spirals again...

"Cure for Love"

2011-10-04T21:58:00.000-06:00

If you have one hour to spare, the short documentary below might interest you. The film discusses about ex-gay ministries. I am intrigued that the documentary does not really take sides about whether ex-gay ministries are good or bad. Homosexuals Brian and Ana claim to be successful with what ex-gay has done for them and have even gotten happily married. Conversely, John continued to struggle with balancing his Christian faith with his orientation, eventually becoming increasingly depressed and having to resort to all sorts of medication. Until one day, John got into a relationship with a man and everything turned around. Everything started making sense, and he was no longer in a chronic state of self-hatred. He is able to reconcile his Christian beliefs with his same-sex attraction.

My opinion about ex-gay ministries has not changed a lot after watching this short movie. If Brian and Ana can learn to put aside their homosexual attractions in order to live in accordance to what they feel are G-d's commands, then all the power to them. I am aware of the damage that ex-gay ministries have done by continually, passive-aggressively bullying people who are already hurting. These ministries make up weird lies, follow stereotypes, and just altogether seem to ignore what modern-day psychology is advising. Paying for these ex-gay conferences is not cheap either. Maybe I have such a negative view of ex-gay ministries because I interpret the Bible differently than them. I also believe in the power of empirical evidence in contrasting the joy that people experience when they discover Christ versus the absolute devastation that 70 % of ex-gay attendees may feel when they are unsuccessful.

Anywho, I'll let you watch the movie and make up opinions for yourself.

Cure for Love is a full-length documentary about a controversial evangelical movement that purports to convert gay people into heterosexuals. The film brings us inside this unusual Christian subculture and follows the lives of several young people whose homosexuality is at odds with their religious beliefs.

Lake Louise hike

2011-10-02T22:45:00.000-06:00

Dr Matron took us out on a lab hike last Wednesday. We went to Lake Louise. The scenery was extraordinary, especially when you climb to the top of the mountain and look down. Here are the photographs I took.

There was snow! Can you believe that?! It was snowing a bit that day too.

See that big dome-shaped mountain behind the trees? It is called the Beehive. We climbed to the top of that mountain.

This small waterfall was right in front of my face. I have never gotten so close to a waterfall.

The water is a pretty shade of blue.

Putting the laptop in the freezer

2011-10-02T22:28:00.000-06:00

Last weekend was so hot that I had to use the freezer as a work station. I did not have a lot of food in there, so it was not a big deal to leave the freezer door open for several hours. The cooling breeze was quite a relief to the terribly warm weather. I thought it was supposed to be autumn already.

I'm glad that this weekend was much colder. I don't take the heat very well. I tend to have a spaz.

Happy Rosh Hashanah!

2011-09-29T23:38:00.000-06:00

...also known as Yom Teruah, the Feast of Trumpets. Traditionally, this holiday starts when two witnesses report the first sliver of moon in the sky.

Rosh Hashanah this year is especially special for those of us who are expecting some sort of heavenly departure. Yes, I am talking about the Rapture, which I have been mildly blogging about. I admit, I was pretty stoked as the holiday approached. People were discussing all sorts of signs in the constellations, lunar eclipses, and tensions in the Middle East to divide Israel and Jerusalem. These signs all seem to converge this year, as opposed to something like lunar eclipse one year and special constellations another year.

During Rosh Hashanah, it is customary to sound the shofar, a sort of trumpet made from a ram's horn. People have associated the final blow of the shofar on Rosh Hashanah as the beacon for the Rapture, as it says in the Bible, "in a flash, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trumpet. For the trumpet will sound, the dead will be raised imperishable, and we will be changed" (1 Cor 15:52). I was contemplating on how such an event will play out in real life... all sorts of people, dead first and then living, all fly off from the face of the Earth. Pilots, surgeons, circus performers lifting half a ton of furniture, all suddenly disappear. Imagine what chaos that would cause! All these people will be swept away to heaven. Although, I honestly am looking forward to be raptured. I will be able to see G-d on a throne in an alternate plane of existence and be removed from all of my problems here on Earth. Also, if you have seen people on YouTube talk about the Rapture using the imagery of a Jewish wedding, you might not be so turned off by it. I think it is actually quite beautiful: a handsome, charming man rides on a horse to take his beloved fiancee from her home at midnight. (In my mind, I am kind of thinking about a hot guy, my husband-to-be, rescuing me from my dumpy and overpriced apartment in Calgary. Anywho, that's beside the point lol.)

For us North Americans, Rosh Hashanah continues to tomorrow, so there is still a chance to be Raptured during the holiday. Israel is in an earlier time zone than Canada, so I'm not sure how G-d will time the Rapture if She feels so inclined on calling everyone home on during the two-day event. I am following the forum Rapture in the Air Now as well as a bunch of vloggers on YouTube like eternalrhythmflow, nicoledanae8520, and firecharger. These people are so excited and almost so terribly certain about the Rapture happening on Rosh Hashanah. I have a sinking feeling that this will is like another Harold Camping letdown. (Err, may G-d still Rapture me if I'm wrong.) I dunno, maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm right. I don't think I can go on anticipating like this. It's not just me; other rapture watchers also feel weary from all the watching.

Sorry, I made what is supposed to be a happy holiday to something stressful and sad. I have some conflicts in me about my own beliefs that I'm still trying to figure out how to verbalize or deal with. A Rapture would be really helpful in solving some of these problems. Anywho, I wish you all the best in the coming year. May you have a sweet year ahead and G-d bless!

Mopping is collage

2011-09-26T10:00:00.029-06:00

Moderately NSFW!

Mopping is Stealing displays a wide collection of collage work that really makes me pause and think. Sometimes, the image is so distorted that it takes me awhile to get everything sorted out. I like the first picture in particular because it sort of conveys motion even though the picture is clearly not moving. The picture reminds me of ripples in a pond. It looks like a lot of work in cutting and pasting each strip of different sizes. I wonder if the image below was cut and pasted from a single photograph. It would be neat to assemble body parts and accessories from different photos and combine them so homogeneously into one picture.

ABOVE: The legs, orientated in such a way that the "heavier" thighs are at the top of the page, seem to be wings or appendages from some alien life form. Placing the visually heavier thighs at the top of the page results in a light, gravity-defying feeling. I think that it might be better if the head of the man is erased, leaving just the legs and yellow blanket, the figure may appear even more like an alien.

BELOW: Hehe, the pants fit all the way up to the man's chest.

ABOVE: It is hard to tell who is doing who in the pink blob. Although, there seems to be only one or two people but the image is copied. Anywho, the pink blob somewhat takes the shape of a five-sided star, pretty neat!

BELOW: I love the clever way that the artist fits in four men into the composition: the man with a baseball cap and two guys in leather jackets cut out in the silhouette of another dude.

BELOW: The same picture of the man stacked one on top of another, increasingly smaller, appears to behave like a vortex that sucks your eyes deeper and deeper until you converge at his most prized possession.

De novo synthesis

2011-09-25T18:21:00.000-06:00

De novo synthesis refers to building new, more complex molecules from simpler ones, as opposed to recycling a molecule that has been partially degraded. Essentially, de novo synthesis is making new molecules from scratch. Beginning from scratch is more or less what I am doing now. I did not take any baking supplies or bakeware with me to the new apartment, so I went out to buy some today. Also, I do not drive, so I had to either walk or take the subway. I managed walk for 40 minutes from the store while carrying 4 kg of sugar lol. I plan to bake something for the lab hike on Wednesday that Dr Matron will be taking us on.

When I checked the mailbox today, I saw a bright green plastic bag in the cubby. Apparently, the new edition of Pigeons and Peacocks has arrived. I think it is so nifty when art and design magazines come in their individually packed plastic bags. I guess this means I will be starting a new lookbook from scratch.

Cupcakes for post-doc girl

2011-09-25T18:04:00.000-06:00

I made a small box of sweets for post-doc girl and the lab about a month ago. Of course, cupcakes had to be involved! There were three in particular that seemed to turn out better than I expected.

The brown chocolate icing worried me a bit. The piping bag already had pink icing before I added the chocolate icing. I imagined that the resulting mixture would become muddy, greyish, dirty, and downright fecal. In reality, the icing looked great! The darkness from the chocolate imparted an emo/goth feel that matched well with the coldness of the metallic balls. The pink added highlights.

I was going for a circular design on the cake, but it turned out more like a heart shape. This one reminded me of something you would find at a wedding.

I was surprised to be able to pipe some sort of a peony flower! I randomly mixed white and pink icing and piped away. I don't know if I can re-create this.

Albino monkey

2011-09-25T17:46:00.000-06:00

There were some more things that I wanted to blog about while I was still in Edmonton. I never got a chance because I had to move and did not have internet for two weeks, which kind of messed up my order of the things I wanted to post. So, this post plus the one immediately following this happened at the end of August. I have been ruminating about posting this ever since!

The day before I left Edmonton, one of the best volunteers from my charity group said she had something for me. I was not expecting any presents from anyone in the group, but she got something for me anyways. I had no idea what she got me and would feel bad if I saw her, received the present, and left her empty-handed. I made her an albino monkey amigurumi. The monkey had a scarf, so it was not entirely nude!

I packaged everything in gift bags that I made myself. The bags were constructed from a single piece of newsprint paper that I decorated and folded together. I also added handles lol. The monkey went into one bag. In the other bag, I put in two $ 5 bills for another friend who was going to meet me as well. This other friend still needed to be reimbursed $ 10 for a previous charity event. I also tucked in some candy and random niceties in the bags too.

The friend who wanted to give me a present got me books about drawing and baking. She knows me so well! Incidentally, I do not own any baking books. I get my recipes from online or experimenting on my own. I kind of wondered why she was being so nice. I realized that it might be because I made cupcakes for her and also gave her a big box of MCAT study books when she could not find any to buy online. But, nonetheless, she is just very helpful, nice, and proactive overall.

At this restaurant, we serve...

2011-09-25T09:00:00.023-06:00

I was walking along the food court in Chinook Centre and came across this establishment. There was a big column blocking my view, and I could not really figure out the name of the food stand. I thought the second word said vadge. Wicked Vadge. "Wait, that does not seem quite right. Maybe it is Wicked Vedge as in 'wicked vegetables', like some sort of vegetarian restaurant."

I went for a closer look and realized it was Wicked Wedge! Why would you ever eat a vadge anyways?! :P

Off to Chinook Centre

2011-09-25T07:00:00.003-06:00

I heard about Chinook Centre when I was still working at Build-A-Bear Workshop in West Edmonton Mall several years ago. Now that I'm in Calgary, I thought I might stop by to see another Build-A-Bear store.

I took the subway to Chinook Centre. On the way there, I saw some sort of a campground type thing that belonged to Cirque de Soleil. The train was going fast, so I only managed to get a quick shot of the tents.

On walking into the mall, I was greeted by a giant metal dinosaur. It was made of gears, what appears to be metal tools, and other mechanical parts. Seems rather steampunk :).

Annnnd, finally, Build-A-Bear!

About three years after I quit Build-A-Bear, this chain store is still as overly cute, flashing, loud, and stimulating as I remember it lol.

Brody is...

2011-09-20T22:24:00.000-06:00

a hoarder. Nonetheless, he can attest that UofA career fairs were much better than the one he attended today at the UofC.

I used to approach career fairs, and similar free-for-all events, like a buffet: I had to take at least one of everything offered on the tables. Sometimes, I went back for seconds. Unlike a food buffet, I did not get full after each helping. When I took home the Santa Clause-sized bags of stuff, I just sort of tuck them away and not use any of the papers, pens, notebooks, highlighters, clipboards, &c. I am not sure why I had such an obsession about taking free things and hoarding them.

Now, I am better at managing what I take. For instance, pens are pretty much turnoffs because they only do so much. Pens have to do really awesome things for me to take them. No candies or food or me unless I am peckish. I did start to use the pens, papers, and other things. I had a good haul today; I think I will give away a bunch of the swag to my lab mates to control my hoarding so that I don't appear on the show Hoarders. I think the University of Alberta had more exhibitors at its career fairs. At the UofA, I carried the heavy bags of swag until both my shoulders were sore.

One peculiar picking today was a notepad wrapped in plastic. That has got to be the most special notepad in the word, wrapped up and all :P!

These are a few of my favorite things

2011-09-19T23:22:00.000-06:00

It was hard deciding what to take with me when I moved to Calgary. I left all of my engineering books and school work back at home since I thought I might not need them anymore now that I am in neuroscience. I even left behind all my lookbooks. It did not seem to make sense for me to bring the lookbooks along with me to Calgary. I am done with my charity group and do not think I will take on major creative projects in the near future. I did not take any of the special, good quality art paper either. Although, I managed to take some pencil crayons, charcoal, conté, crayons, water colour, and the Wacom tablet.

I made sure that I took certain specific things with me.

A note my uncle wrote for me. I have a number of uncles. One in particular was (and is) still really close to me. Strangely, I think I share the phenotype for hairy legs exclusively with him and no-one else in my mom or my dad’s family lol. When I was small, this uncle would babysit me when my parents were at work. We played video games for hours. He is really funny and witty. I visited him and his family the previous summer, and my uncle and I had a long talk – sort of a father-son talk (he only has daughters, who are around my age). I asked him to write down the things he said, which are described in this note.

A book about paper crafts. I was at most in grade one at the time when my parents got this book for me. I was still reasonably happy then and liked art and pretty things. I lived in a city where there was a lot of attractive folk art, but new trends in art, design, and architecture flourished as well. I’m guessing that I got my interest in art because I was immersed in such a creative culture at such a young age.

Mail Art from Dean. This Mail Art, my first Mail Art in fact, symbolizes my completely different life on this blog. I had been more honest on this blog than with anyone else I met face to face. I very much appreciate the connection I have with you fellow bloggers who read and comment on Emo biochemist.

Brody sees penis

2011-09-19T23:00:00.000-06:00

Have you heard the phrase “hung like a horse”? Maybe the phrase has been used by others as a compliment to you. Incidentally, the Hebrew word for “horse” is סוס (pronounced “soos” – just like “Seuss” for us here in North America, as in “Dr Seuss”). Is it just me or does סוס appear a bit phallic?... and not to mention those innocently looking glands.

Colby of Big Shoe Diaries regularly posts his own series on penile illusions like the ones below.

Luxury pool

Latté

Is that Jesus? How blasphemous and creeeepy!

Little Cho restaurant

Wet spot in the ceiling

Sunlight

T minus less than two weeks until Christians blast off to heaven

2011-09-17T22:50:00.001-06:00

Rosh Hashanah is coming up at the end of September, which is less than two weeks away. For the Rapture watchers expecting a Rosh Hashanah Rapture, it is less than two weeks until G-d catches away His servants to the safety of heaven before the start of the Tribulation.^1,2

I agree that there is no reason why the Rapture will definitely not happen at the end of September this year. Equivalently, there is also a chance that the Rapture will not take place this year. People are analyzing various "signs in the heavens", comet Elenin, Palestine-Israel relations, and patterns in major earthquakes and coming up with all sorts of reasons to support a Rosh Hashanah Rapture.^1,2 I feel uncomfortable about people coming up with all these theories about the timing of the events of Christian eschatology; when such theories were proven wrong in the past, there were huge shock waves of disappointment and loss of faith. In fact, the devastating disappointment was self-inflicted by these people who were wrong and subsequently felt that G-d cheated them somehow, even though they were wrong in the first place. There are also those people who go berserk in their efforts to tell the world that the world is ending, citing all sorts of nonsensical rumours and lies.

I'm glad to have found this video below that deals specifically with the sort of Harold Camping antics.

Cake Wreck?

2011-09-13T09:29:00.023-06:00

I snapped this picture of a cake at Safeway. Not exactly as hilarious or wrong as the confectionary displayed on Cake Wrecks. I think the cake I saw depicted a cat... er, bear, dog, or just something mammalian. By the way, $9.99 CAD for a small cake? So expensive!

Chemical engineering Mail Art

2011-09-12T21:06:00.000-06:00

SWCNT 1. In Dr RN's lab, I worked on single-walled carbon nanotubes (SWCNT). The image features a close-up chemical structure of SWCNT. This card is for him.

The day before I moved, I went to school to deliver some Mail Art for the professors and grad students who have made an impression in my academic life. I could count on them to provide reference letters for me in my applications to various graduate programs. Each Mail Art was like a postcard of about 5" by 5": an image on one side and a note on the back.

SWCNT 2. While in Dr RN's lab, I worked on the SWCNT project with post-doc girl. Hehe, I still remember her asking me outright whether or not I was gay.

RADA hydrogel. One of Dr Lu's graduate students Aditi studied hydrogels made from RADA, which are chains of amino acids consisting of arginine (R), alanine (A), and aspartic acid (D).

Acuvue Air Optix. This was based on a transmission electron microscope image of a contact lens that I was studying with Dr Lu. This card is for him. I drew this using conté by hand; all the other cards were done using GIMP.

THX. I edited a picture of a DNA gel electrophoresis to make the lines spell out "THX" as in "thanks for being a great mentor!" In my first work term in Dr Lu's lab, he assigned me to a grad student named Markian. He has a totally rad personality — made funny jokes, relatively smooth (but not douchebag), like a cool big brother. We ran a lot of DNA gels.

On the back of the cards, I wrote a note for each of the individuals. Shown here is the note for Markian.

For the Oprah tells me so

2011-09-12T19:03:00.000-06:00

I was browsing through an Oprah magazine while running on the elliptical trainer and came across these intriguing tidbits. How helpful are these tricks? I am not quite sure because I live in Canada, and the tips appear to be more relevant in the US.

Click on the picture to make it bigger!

I kind of already found the "printer ink" tip myself. I tend to stay toward the skinnier fonts to save ink and also save space on writing assignments with page limits. The skinnier letters take up less room.

10 years

2011-09-11T23:01:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it has already been 10 years since the tragedy that has shaken up the world. I was still in grade eight at the time. After 10 years of War on Terror, heightened airport security, and every possible effort to prevent a repeat of what has happened, is the world safer now than it was 10 years ago? From my very limited perspective of the world, I think rather than fighting fire with fire, waging war on terrorist groups while the terrorist groups fight back, it might be more effective to try to promote a common understanding amongst all parties that if everyone continued down this road, no-one wins because the conflict would intensify and the human race would end up destroying itself.

Mmmmmmorrrppppg

2011-09-11T22:12:00.000-06:00

I saw this picture today on eBaum's world. The woman's expression made me reflect on the time I first encountered the acronym MMORPG, massively multiplayer online role-playing game. I read it as, "mmm... mmm... mmmooorr... orrr...pug." I think the woman in the picture was still working on the double m's.

Apps for faps

2011-09-11T22:03:00.001-06:00

Grindr: lesbians in disguise!

Grindr, Maleforce, Jack'd, the list goes on.

I am only discovering the world of apps now that I have a phone that can handle apps. I downloaded adventure and simulation games because they are fun and do not take the lightning-fast reflexes, which I lack, of action games. I started getting curious about apps for hookups, dating, and meeting gay people near you. I am a bit creeped out that someone sitting next to me on the subway can find me, except possibly when the subway goes under a tunnel. Nonetheless, it might be neat to find out the number of gay/bi/curious people I see on a daily basis.

I have only downloaded the more vanilla apps. One is called "Gay Man Advantages". The app shows you 100 reasons why it is great being homosexual and male. The other app I have is called "Sexy Time", which is alleged to turn your cellphone into a vibrator. You have all sorts of settings for the different rhythms in vibrations. I found the app mildly interesting, if at all.

I had a slightly bad... not bad, just a bit ":/" experience with hookup apps. Before one OUTreach meeting (this was when I was still at the UofA), I saw a group of people crowding around a particular girl's cellphone and giggling. It turned out that the girl made up a fake profile, having posed as a boy, on Grindr. She was having a bit of fun — mischievous fun, not sexy fun — with another man on Grindr. Heh, that other man might be a poseur too.

Do you happen to have any notable experiences on mobile or online programs? Post them on your blogs or comment below!

Sir! The mains are back on line!

2011-09-11T21:19:00.001-06:00

I finally got internet again yesterday! It has been like two weeks from the time that I was supposed to get the internet and cable TV hooked up. Apparently, Telus had a computer meltdown two weeks ago and lost all of their clients' files. Magically, the representative, having lost everyone's information, somehow managed to called me to report their accident and had to cancel the setup and reschedule for yesterday.

So anywho, I am in a new city now. I miss everyone in Edmonton :(. I live in an apartment now. The bumpy and uneven floor creaks, there is no more yard for me to grow plants, and I thought I just saw ghostly circles hovering in the walk-in the closet. The people I work with are nice. Dr Matron is friendly, as are a bunch of the workers in her lab. Y'know, the lab workers probably won't ever find out about this blog, so I will use their real names. There are only about four or so people with whom I interact often, other than Dr Matron. Paula and I seem to really get along. Her voice is very high pitched, like that of a five-year-old girl. She is pale and looks kind of like an insect, especially with her glasses. She reminds me of Irma Gobb, Mr Bean's girlfriend. Face is bony, eyes are just sort of there and staring at you, but she is great to hang around with.

Gabriel has a PhD and elementary school-age children. He is quite relaxed. Jill, an older woman, makes solutions for the lab and also handles the finances. I am not really sure what her exact role is. Brian, the new MSc student like myself, appears to be some sort of football player. He has thick arms and legs. I don't think we get along that smoothly. Mind you, he's not exactly like the gay football players in fantasies that sit on your face and do other naughty things that football players do in fantasies. It's not that we dislike each other, but it is like trying to mix an emo/nerd (me) with a jock (Brian). We are nice to each other nonetheless.

Brb

2011-08-31T09:10:00.000-06:00

I will go to Calgary shortly and will be online again when the internet is set up in the overpriced apartment!

I like dick and scholarships... but umno

2011-08-29T15:08:00.000-06:00

The Dick Peter Graduate Scholarship, of course!

After Dr Lu turned me down for graduate studies because he had no more money, I started a frantic search for places I could attend. One of these places was the Department of Chemistry at the University of Alberta. I got accepted there. Although, I was sort of already planning to go to the University of Calgary. In Calgary, I will be poking at frog brains in the Department of Neuroscience with the Faculty of Medicine. I picked Calgary since I thought taking undergraduate and graduate studies at the same institution might be some sort of "academic incest". I heard from another professor talking about something similar, but he was saying that it is not a good idea to do your graduate studies and post-doctoral work at the same university. I asked the professor why that was, and he said it was that both the university and the student should go to new places and meet new people rather than recycling the same people at the same university over and over again.

I emailed Chemistry at the UofA today that I will not be able to attend their program. To make things more difficult, I received an email earlier today from Chemistry saying that they are nominating me for the Dick Peter Graduate Scholarship. It is an $800 prize awarded to a newbie in a graduate program in the Faculty of Science. The scholarship is awarded to a student "with the highest academic standing in the final two years of their undergraduate degree". I was really touched that the department would nominate me for the award. But, I had to turn them down :(. Hopefully, Calgary will be able to offer me scholarships too :S.

Even more alone

2011-08-27T23:13:00.000-06:00

I have received several letters from different universities saying that I have been accepted into their grad school. The thing is that I will likely reject them. I sort of have my mind set on the University of Calgary. The professor there, I called her Dr Matron, has agreed to take me in one way or another. Whether I will be accepted as a student or not, she will be hiring me. I am a bit bitter about moving. If I could stay with Dr Lu, I would not have to spend so much money moving, buying new things, and spending money on expensive rent. I will be moving out from my parents' house. I have never lived alone before. I already do not have a lot of friends. Now, I am being plucked out from my friends as well as family. I went to Calgary yesterday with my parents to see the apartment. We then drove to the downtown area to have a look. There were very many tall, shiny buildings. Some of the architecture was really artsy. Of course, all the big oil companies are in Calgary to fund for all sorts of pretty things.

I am still in denial about moving. All my books, clothes, everything are still not packed. I move in less than a week. I am worried about money and how I will manage to pay for the necessities. Also, will I be so bored that I become even more secluded and antisocial? It will just be me in the apartment. There is no reason to make nice-looking food because there will be no-one there. I will be staring at an empty wall all night. In the daytime, I will be in the lab, at an assigned desk removed from everyone else.

I took this picture through the rear window of the car, hence the lines.

Apfelstrudel

2011-08-27T22:54:00.000-06:00

I have made apfelstrudel before but I don't think ever quite like this. The pastry was flaky, yet soft. When you bite into the apfelstrudel, the delicate pastry melts in your mouth. For me, the secret I hypothesized earlier and confirmed now is that I must not oil the balls of dough before I stretch out the phyllo. I have researched recipes for making phyllo pastry from scratch. Essentially, to make phyllo, you roll balls of dough, let them rest, and then stretch them out. I have a picture of phyllo being stretched out here. These recipes advised covering the balls of dough with a thin layer of oil to prevent the dough from drying. I followed the advice in the past, and subsequently, I found stretching the dough to be very difficult. I could not get the pastry to be really paper-thin, and holes developed easily in the bumpy, uneven pastry. This time, I did not oil the dough, just covering the dough with plastic wrap to prevent drying out. I managed to get a smooth, paper-thin product with minimal holes.

Neuter and spay your dog, neuter and spay your human

2011-08-23T18:26:00.000-06:00

I might be able to get a puppy, my first nonfish pet, when I move away from home for grad school. I still need to get settled down in the new apartment and school routine before really getting the puppy. Nonetheless, I have been putting a lot of thought about what kind of dog I will like to have, training, feeding, &c. I have issues with getting the dog spayed/neutered. I know that there are all sorts of pros and cons to spaying/neutering, like preventing overpopulation, minimizing the risk of certain cancers, gaining weight, becoming less active, and calming down the dog (making it less horny), but overall, having the procedure done is better than leaving the dog intact. I don't think I have the heart to get my dog neutered because I will anthropomorphize the dog and emphathize with him. I will be comparing his neutering to my own neutering. This does not make sense since the dog is not a human. Nonetheless, I attribute human qualities to the dog. Anthropomorphizing a dog is something that I do instinctively. I do not have problems with rearing a neutered dog. It is seeing the dog having testicles one day and no testicles the next day, and knowing that I was the one that inflicted this on him, that really puts me off. I think I see spaying/neutering as a form of doggy circumcision. I am not a big fan of circumcision. Are there alternatives to not spaying/neutering your dog?

Lady dogs and gentlemen dogs, I present to you the FleshWOOF, inspired from the Fleshjack. I designed it myself :D. Whenever your dog is forcefully humping your leg, simply slip the FleshWOOF over your dog's penis and pump away! Cleaning up is a breeze!

If humans can learn to masturbate in order to release some of their horniness, can dogs also learn to masturbate (with assistance from their owners)? I have seen reality shows where a dog expert came and solved the dog problems of a family, especially It's Me or the Dog. One episode of It's Me or the Dog featured an intact bulldog that was humping everyone. The dog expert, Victoria Stilwell, advised the owner to get the dog neutered, but the owner refused. The owner says that to cut off the dog's balls was like cutting off his own balls, and the latter was definitely not going to happen. Stilwell did manage to train the dog to hump less.

Overpopulation appears to be the major pressing factor for getting your dog fixed. Keeping your dog away from dogs of the opposite sex addresses this problem. Besides preventing the dog to breed, can you manually stimulate the dog to simulate sexual activity and thus decrease the pent up sexual energy? For those of you who are familiar with dogs, can you artificially lower your dog's desire to copulate?

That new art supply smell

2011-08-21T15:35:00.000-06:00

I had been needing some good pencil crayons and a watercolour set for some time now. I managed to take advantage of this year's back-to-school sale at Walmart and got myself these much needed art supplies. Not to endorse anything here, but I do like Crayola's stuff. I remember getting a huge pencil crayon set, about 100 pencils or so, from Superstore that cost really cheap. When I tried to draw with them, the lead was really hard for some reason. They did not draw at all but instead carve deep trenches into the paper. What a letdown.

I also went to Ikea, one of my favourite stores!, for some furniture and other things that I will need because I will most likely be moving away for grad school. I spotted a really handsome man in a prim and proper white shirt and black pants in the cafeteria. He looked as beautiful as one of my high school English teachers, imagine Matt Dallas but more natural and less Hollywood. Later on, I saw that handsome man in the kitchen showrooms, walking closely with two other similarly dressed guys. I tried not to stare too much because my parents were there with me. I realized that he was Mormon. "Mmmmkay, moving on...," I thought to myself. Not that I dislike Mormons, but Mormons probably dislike me. What was a bit weird was that there were three Mormon guys in that group. I thought Mormons hung out in multiples of two. Although, that might only be true when they are doing their work. Moving on...

In a distantly related note, please be aware that the new car smell is the result of volatile organic compounds (VOCs). These chemicals may be carcinogens, endocrine disruptors, and/or agents that cause other acute/chronic toxic effects. Hopefully, the art supplies have less quantities of harmful VOCs.

Shabbat shalom!

2011-08-19T22:44:00.048-06:00

Now that I am no longer a student and am unemployed, making dinner seemed quite easy when I have all the time in the world. I performed some experiments in the kitchen, i.e. the household chemistry lab, and here are the results!

The alfredo tasted nice, but I don't think the parmesan melted :S. In fact, I had been having difficulty with the cheeses melting completely in my previous attempts at alfredo.

I filled the pie with caramelized onions, sun-dried tomatoes, and pepper leaves. Got this idea from Jack's Grill, one of Edmonton's best restaurants. Dr Lu took me and the rest of the lab there for dinner when his supervisor came to visit several years ago. I had ordered a pie just like that.

Swiss roll. I still had some issues with sponge cake. Whenever I made sponge cake, it never appeared to rise much. The cake was still quite light and airy and carried the rich flavour of sugar and eggs. The buttercream icing mixed with orange marmalade was very refreshing, especially when the cake was served chilled.

Crayon Shin-Chan!

2011-08-15T17:07:00.001-06:00

One of my childhood cartoon favourites is Crayon Shin-Chan! I remember watching this when I first started school. That little boy is lewd but so funny! This cartoon is rather adult-oriented, think of it as a Japanese Family Guy. You might be wondering why my mom let me watch the show when I was so young. Back then, in the early days of Shin-Chan, my mom saw Shin-Chan as such an adorable little boy... until when she bought a Shin-Chan video, and we watched it as a family.

Brody is...

2011-08-15T16:53:00.000-06:00

an official Engineer in Training (E.I.T.). Still not sure what I will do with that...

Girls vs boys, girls vs girls, boys vs boys

2011-08-11T15:48:00.001-06:00

I had a dream last night that launched me into Carrie Bradshaw mode this morning. I was feeling rather contemplative, deploring my life as an underdog, and wanted to blog about it. This post might not make a lot of sense ~~and may be NSFW~~ because it is based on a dream (dreams themselves often have some irrational, fantastical component)... that had nude scenes. Viewer discretion is advised.

In the dream sequence, there was a shower/locker room scene. Let us focus on the characters, Tony and myself. I know Tony from real life. Well, sort of. Tony is friends with Andrew and other mutual friends, but Tony does not know me personally. Tony is very tall and very beautiful. Messy brown hair, scruffy beard, and light, bright puppy dog eyes. In the dream, Tony was standing at the top of the stairs that led to the showers. He was talking to someone, totally oblivious to me walking up the stairs, and completely naked. I had a bit of a dazed moment as I walked up the stairs. I looked up at Tony. So tall and handsome... I kind of wished he was my boyfriend... Good gracious, so endowed! Right in front of my face was Tony's gigantic dick! It was long. He was not even hard. His dick was like seven inches or something. (Dear readership, if you have problems following along with the text, I have Photoshopped a picture of my Pokémon game to illustrate what I am trying to convey.) I stared at his penis for a good minute while Tony chatted away. I finally made my way up the stairs and to the showers. As I was showering, I felt so inadequate, insignificant, and terribly small — in more ways than one. Looking at Tony being so strong and tall and proudly displaying his monster like some Greek hero made me so ashamed about myself. :(

I woke up. I realized that it was all a dream. Still, I believed that the scenario I had in my dream can totally happen in real life too. We are all familiar with rivalry that can exist between two straight people of the same sex. Man A and Man B both compete for Woman C. Also, Woman D and Woman E both compete for Man F. What happens in the instance where Man G and Man H compete for the highest income, best body, longest penis, &c., but Man G also has a crush on Man H? Worse yet, Man H is straight. Not only is Man G in conflict with Man H, Man G is also in conflict with himself as he tries to fight off his desire for someone straight. In the men's sauna room, Man G cannot really consult with his guys friends about the dilemma because Man H will be there. Man A and Man B will probably start fighting in the sauna. Woman C will be in the women's sauna having girl time with her Charlottes, Mirandas, Carries, and Samanthas to decide which guy to go out with. To make things even more complicated, enter smooth and suave Man I who competes with Man G for Man H. You know how in a game of tag, sometimes the boys run into the girls' room to avoid being tagged when a girl is "it"? There is no safety zone where Man H will be safe from either Man G or Man I trying to make a move because neither Man G nor Man I will be separate from Man H; they use the same washroom. I suppose my problem here is to understand how do the "rules" (if any) and dynamics of conflicts change when you are gay.

Getting close?

2011-08-11T14:10:00.091-06:00

Each year, as we approach the Jewish holidays Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, some people start to get seriously anxious about the Rapture and end times. This year, the hype is much more intense because of the "signs in the heavens" and the culminating political situation surrounding Israel. With Rosh Hashanah taking place at the end of next month, will you be ready in time to be rescued to the safety of heaven before the seven years of the Tribulation begin on Earth?

I am still a bit skeptical about the Rapture happening this year :S. Although, if my understanding of Christian eschatology is correct, the pre-Tribulation Rapture can take place before the world feels like it is really going to end. So, even as you read this post, you may be Raptured away. I dunno, I still think that Rosh Hashanah 2011 will come and go like previous years. I am skeptical. (May G-d forgive me and Rapture me anyways if I am wrong!) I guess I am a bit discouraged by the whole Harold Camping ordeal and the hype about the previous Rosh Hashanahs. It's coming, coming, COMING! Awwww, nothing happened!

I did a survey of what people on YouTube are saying about the Rapture occurring this year. Here are some of the points I got from these videos below. These three clips were relatively recent, like within two weeks or so.

The Tribulation will happen when Israel is split. Israel can be split as soon as this September when the United Nations or the U.S. decides on a peace deal between Israel and Palestine.
The temple in Jerusalem will need to be rebuilt and functional, including animal sacrifices and priesthood, i.e. the Third Temple, to be even close to the Tribulation. This is because the Antichrist is going to desecrate the Temple and cause people to stop worshipping G-d in it.
The patterns of the lunar eclipses (still image at the very bottom).
The solar eclipses on 1 Av for the past three years (not this year).
Comet Elenin is drawing ever closer to Earth. A Sun-Elenin-Earch alignment is scheduled on September 27, hours to Rosh Hashanah. The massive earthquakes in Chile, Japan, and New Zealand have been associated with alignments of these three celestial bodies. Elenin follows a hyperbolic orbit into the inner solar system. The comet will not revisit our solar system again after it leaves.

The Rapture might be coming, but the false teachers are already here. When Camping predicted the Rapture earlier this year, some people went nuts, spent all their savings, and quit their jobs. Only time, and G-d, will tell if the Rapture and end times are really upon us.

You're kidding right?! This was not how I learned English at school

2011-08-11T10:00:00.005-06:00

Now that's a fresh bag

2011-08-10T21:47:00.000-06:00

I requested a bunch of freebies and coupons a while ago, and they finally arrived today... two months after I requested! I think I requested the pile of stuff in late May because that was when I sort of relapsed into major depressive disorder and stopped looking for freebies on the internet. After the Canadian postal strike and further delays in delivering the mail once the mail reached the university, I can now collect these letters. I am actually quite happy right now. It seems a bit pathetic lol. I get coupons in the mail hooray. I think my requesting freebies and coupons for myself might be one of those things that my counselor was trying to get me to do to make me feel good about myself. Dean buys flowers for himself. Flowers are pretty. Coupons are kind of lame. I might turn into a (bigger) hoarder one day.

The down side to the mail was that quite a few coupons have expired already. For instance, I will never be able to sample the full-size box of new chocolate Cheerios.

One of the highlights of the pile of mail was the bag from Coppertone. The bag was vacuum sealed for maximal freshness. I was greeted with the aroma of plasticizers when I excitedly opened the vacuum sealed packaging. It was that fresh!

The bag is constructed a bit strangely. It was two compartments. You can separate the two compartments like how you open up a book like in the picture immediately above, i.e. the bag opens 180 degrees. The two "ends" of the book can be closed up and held in place by velcro dots. How peculiar.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-10T10:07:00.000-06:00

Turkish art of marbling

2011-08-09T13:35:00.051-06:00

I found a girl making these neat marbled images at the Turkish pavilion of the Heritage Festival. I did not quite understand her explanation of how she made these pictures, so I had to look up the technique on YouTube.

I am intrigued by how the marbling technique exploits the hydrophobic quality and density of the dyes used. If you look at the video below, you can see that the dye is floated on the surface of the pan of liquid. I think the liquid is some sort of mucilage. The girl at the Heritage Festival was using something from seaweed as a source of mucilage. I am guessing it was carrageenan, a polysaccharide. In the video, when the artist added dye to the liquid, the dye remained more or less in a circle. The dye did not disperse like when you add food colouring to water. That might mean the dye was hydrophobic because it did not readily disperse into the polysaccharide liquid, even after the dye was stirred around. It is surprising how the artist could capture the intricate marbled image on paper by simply placing a piece of paper on the liquid surface.