Last Friday, after trying to politely explain to Christian Paula that I had a mixer to go to that evening with my LGBT student group (while detailing my views about gays, trans, and queers in general), I finally arrived at the mixer — greeted by a very enthusiastic trans girl. She was the trans girl I met when I asked about Queers on Campus for the first time. The trans girl told me that there was someone in the group who liked me. I was a bit surprised, and slightly elated, but downright nervous. I had no idea who it was. I was so going to make a fool of myself. Saying stupid things, pointing out the obvious, and the like. I asked her who it was. She assured me that she would tell me when he arrived. Apparently, he was not at the mixer yet. I sort of protested to the trans girl about me going out with another boy. I am quite busy with school and everything, and I still need to figure out for myself what I want in a relationship. The trans girl was unrelenting but gentle. She suggested, "be friends first, take things slowly, let the relationship grow."
Subsequently, I chatted with a charming French Canadian lesbian, the trans girl again, and finally this one particular boy. This particular boy was Zac, one my first contacts with the student group. He is quite passive. Not terribly funny or very exciting. Although, I like him. He is very friendly, and I can talk biochemistry with him because he studies biological sciences. I think he is kind of handsome and my type. Well, not exactly my type maybe. Let's say 3.5 to 4 out of 5. I have always wanted to chat with him but never really got the chance because I was too shy.
It was nearly time to head home, and the trans girl did not explicitly mention to me who the guy was who liked me. Maybe I discouraged her or that guy?
Nevertheless, there is a boy who has been trying very hard to be friends with me at the mixer and now on Facebook. He is extremely polite, self-effacing, and sweet. Perhaps a bit too sweet. I wonder if this is the guy that the trans girl wanted me to meet. He is not exactly my type. I like him as a friend but not really a boyfriend. I would hate to disappoint this boy... He keeps sending long messages to me on Facebook. He talks about things in general, like my research, not about dating. I kind of wish Zac, or someone else I sort of fancy, will send me long messages on Facebook.
So, at the end of the night, I think I might have gotten into some sort of unspoken, tangled web of affections. I like Zac (but I might not be ready and such), Zac may like another boy (I saw him sitting on another guy's lap throughout a previous movie night), and the extremely sweet boy could like me but is not quite my type. This love triangle (can you even call it that?) could all be in my head.
Subsequently, I chatted with a charming French Canadian lesbian, the trans girl again, and finally this one particular boy. This particular boy was Zac, one my first contacts with the student group. He is quite passive. Not terribly funny or very exciting. Although, I like him. He is very friendly, and I can talk biochemistry with him because he studies biological sciences. I think he is kind of handsome and my type. Well, not exactly my type maybe. Let's say 3.5 to 4 out of 5. I have always wanted to chat with him but never really got the chance because I was too shy.
It was nearly time to head home, and the trans girl did not explicitly mention to me who the guy was who liked me. Maybe I discouraged her or that guy?
Nevertheless, there is a boy who has been trying very hard to be friends with me at the mixer and now on Facebook. He is extremely polite, self-effacing, and sweet. Perhaps a bit too sweet. I wonder if this is the guy that the trans girl wanted me to meet. He is not exactly my type. I like him as a friend but not really a boyfriend. I would hate to disappoint this boy... He keeps sending long messages to me on Facebook. He talks about things in general, like my research, not about dating. I kind of wish Zac, or someone else I sort of fancy, will send me long messages on Facebook.
So, at the end of the night, I think I might have gotten into some sort of unspoken, tangled web of affections. I like Zac (but I might not be ready and such), Zac may like another boy (I saw him sitting on another guy's lap throughout a previous movie night), and the extremely sweet boy could like me but is not quite my type. This love triangle (can you even call it that?) could all be in my head.
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Well, either the guy trans girl had in mind didn't show up, or she didn't notice him, or he's Zac or the sweet boy. If you get a chance to ask trans girl which it is, that would clear it up. Otherwise, I'd say just proceed as if you never heard about it from her, and behave the way you want toward Zac and the sweet boy.
ReplyDeleteFWIW, I think the saying, "Don't borrow trouble" applies here. If you think Zac may like another boy, that is definitely not the same as knowing that he does. Don't let something that at this point is in your mind keep you from being friendly toward him.
Hi there, Brody
ReplyDeletenaturgesetz has already said much of what I was going to, so I won't repeat it.
You said that both Zac and the sweet boy are "not exactly my type" - is this physical type or personality type? I wouldn't be too concerned about physical type. As trans girl said, be friends first: if something more comes of either of those friendships, that's a matter for the future.
It's good to hear that you're making things clear with Paula - maybe if she gets used to working with a gay person as a colleague, her views on gay people generally will change.
Take care
Mark
@naturgesetz: I had a slight suspicion that it might be the sweet boy... Maybe time will tell.
ReplyDelete@Mark: Both Zac and the sweet boy are not exactly my type for either categories. Zac has a pretty face but is not the most witty one at a party. The sweet boy is just not my type physically overall and is really nice and friendly. Almost too nice and friendly. I feel like I will get diabetes from his sweetness.
About Paula, I did not quite tell her that I am gay. She never asked, and I never told. Although, she might have guessed. However, she knows that I am a strong supporter for the LGBTQ cause.